After a long and serious operation, Lena ended up in a coma. Try as
they might, the doctors just couldn't bring her out of it. When her
husband Ralph came into the intensive care unit to see her, the
doctors gave him the bad news.
"We just can't wake her. It doesn't look good I'm afraid," the doctor
told Ralph in a quiet somber voice.
Ralph looked at Lena and with a soft trembling voice said, "But
doctor, she's so young. She's only 45."
"37," came the weak reply from Lena.
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CleanLaugh - "Fish Fight Story"
Doug was describing a 30-pound bass he'd caught recently, after fighting it for three hours.
Bill interrupted the story saying, "I saw the picture you took of that fish. You're lucky if it even weighed 10 pounds."
Doug replied, "Well, a fish can lose an awful lot of weight during three hours of fighting!"
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Today's CleanPun
I was born free - my Dad's an Ob-Gyn.
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One Liner
"Time is Nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once."
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CleanQuote
"Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes."
~ Antisthenes
~ Antisthenes
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"Wedding Vows"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Mrs. Frobisher and her little daughter Patty were outside the church watching all the comings and goings of a wedding. After the photographs had been taken, everyone had driven off to the reception, and all the excitement was over. Patty asked her mother, "Why did the bride change her mind, Mommy?"
"How do you mean, change her mind?" asked Mrs. Frobisher.
"Well," said the child, "she went into the church with one man and came out with another!"
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Nervous Minister
A nervous young minister, new to the church, told the flock,
"For my text today, I will take the words, 'And they fed
five men with five thousand loaves of bread and two thousand
fishes.'"
A member of the flock raised his hand and said, "That's not
much of a trick. I could do that."
The minister didn't respond. However, the next Sunday he
decided to repeat the text. This time he did it properly:
"And they fed five thousand men with five loaves of bread
and two fishes."
Smiling, the minister said to the noisy man, "Could you do
that, Mr. Perkins?"
The member of the flock said, "I sure could."
"How would you do it?"
"With all the food I had left over from last Sunday!"
A nervous young minister, new to the church, told the flock,
"For my text today, I will take the words, 'And they fed
five men with five thousand loaves of bread and two thousand
fishes.'"
A member of the flock raised his hand and said, "That's not
much of a trick. I could do that."
The minister didn't respond. However, the next Sunday he
decided to repeat the text. This time he did it properly:
"And they fed five thousand men with five loaves of bread
and two fishes."
Smiling, the minister said to the noisy man, "Could you do
that, Mr. Perkins?"
The member of the flock said, "I sure could."
"How would you do it?"
"With all the food I had left over from last Sunday!"