A Difficult Question
There was a student who wanted to be admitted to the University.
He was smart enough to get through the written test, a GED, and was
to appear for the personal interview. Later, as the interview
progressed, the interviewer found this boy to be bright since he
could answer all the questions correctly. The interviewer got
impatient and decided to corner the boy.
"Tell me your choice," said he to the boy, "What's your choice? I
shall either ask you ten easy questions or ONE real difficult. Think
well before you make up your mind."
The boy thought for a while and said, "My choice is ONE real
difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice!" said the man
on the opposite side. Tell me: What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted first but he waited for a while and said: "It's
the DAY, sir."
Thinking to himself ("At last, I got you!"), the interviewer smiled
and said, "How???"
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you would ask me ONLY ONE difficult
question!"
The student was admitted to the University.
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Caution
A pharmacy major was taking a course in Dispensing. One day
they were discussing the various labels affixed to
prescription containers, such as, "Take with food," and
"Take with water."
At the end of class, the professor passed out a few sample
labels.
Days later he noticed that one member of the class had
struck one of them onto his chemistry textbook. It read:
"Caution: May cause extreme drowsiness."
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Weird News
Students have fun on mega-scavenger hunt
CHICAGO (UPI) -- Participants in the 22nd annual
The event, deemed "the world's largest scavenger hunt," ended Sunday, allowing nine teams to relax after four days of searching for unusual items and completing bizarre tasks at the drop of a hat, the Chicago Tribune reported.
"There's a lot of brain power going into academic problems. This allows us to take another kind of brain power and put it into frivolous, trivial but completely enjoyable tasks," said David Pisano, a 21-year-old senior.
This year's hunt even involved flying a group of students to
"They're international swimsuit contestants. I had no complaints," Pisano said.
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British pet psychic helps find lost dog
Nikki Newcombe, 35, was relieved to have her dog, Marmite, return home after he spent a week stranded in a hole, the Mirror reported.
Newcombe went to Pea Horsley, a
Horsley used her abilities to tell Newcombe about landmarks the dog traveled past before falling into the hole, the Mirror said.
Sure enough, Newcombe took Horsley's advice and found Marmite barking from a hole in the ground.
"It's one of the quickest I've found," Horsley said.
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Man cuts car in half to make a point
TREDWORTH, England (UPI) -- An outraged British man said he sawed his son's car in half after local authorities clamped it for no reason.
Ian Taylor, 40 of Tredworth, England, said he was so upset to find his son's Ford Fiesta was impounded, he was prompted to use a power disc cutter to chop it in half to stand up for his beliefs, the Sun reported Monday.
"I had to make a point. The vehicle was totally legal where it was. It was a drastic step but I stand by my decision,"
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Confessions
To celebrate their 50th anniversary, a husband booked a round of golf for his wife and himself on a trip to famous old St. Andrews' Golf Course in
On the third tee, the husband hesitated in teeing off and turned slowly to his wife and said contritely, "Darling, I have to confess something. Twenty years ago I had a brief affair. It meant nothing. I hope you can forgive me."
His wife was hurt but said, "Dearest, those days are long gone. What we have now is far more valuable. I forgive you."
They embraced and kissed.
On the seventeenth tee, the husband was starting his back swing when the wife blurted out, "I'm sorry, darling, I've been so conscience-stricken since you told me, but since we're being honest with each other, I have something to tell you also. Fifty-two years ago I had a sex change operation; I was a man before I met you. I hope you can forgive me.
The husband, froze at the top of his back swing, then threw a fit! He slammed the driver into the ground, kicked the ball into the woods, stormed off the tee, pushed the golf cart over on its side, broke the rest of his clubs one by one, then started on his wife's clubs.
He screamed and ranted, "You liar...you cheat ... you despicable deceiver! How could you? I trusted you with all my heart and soul...and all these years you've been playing off the ladies' tees?!"
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Honest Lawyer
An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. She began to interview young lawyers.
"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson, are you an honest lawyer?"
"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my father lent me $15,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."
"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"
The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, "He sued me for the money."
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Off-Duty
An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate.
The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result.
"This guy must have screwed up the settings," the off-duty officer thought.
A few weeks later, when he received the violations in the mail, he discovered three traffic tickets--each for not wearing a seat belt.
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In Love
A man sitting at the window one evening casually called to his wife, "There's that woman that the guy next door is in love with!"
His wife, in the kitchen, dropped the plate she was drying, ran into the living room, knocked over a vase, and looked out the window. "Where? Where?" she demanded.
"Right over there on the corner. The lady in the blue dress."
"You idiot! That's his wife!"
"Yes, I know," the husband grinned.
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"Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted
but getting what you have, which once you got it you may be
smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you
known." --Garrison Keillor
***
"Be careful of your thoughts; they may become words at any
moment." --Ira Gassen
***
"
have tested it." --Mark Twain
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Ken and Melba had finished their breakfast at the retirement
home and were relaxing in the library. "You know," said
Melba, "today, in most marriage ceremonies, they don't use
the word 'obey' anymore."
"Too bad, isn't it?" retorted Ken. "It used to lend a little
humor to the occasion."
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On a lonely, moonlit country road a young man's car engine
started to cough. Immediately pulling over to a scenic
little spot he said to the young lady next to him, "That's
funny, I wonder what that knocking noise was?"
"I'll tell you one thing for sure," said the girl coolly,
"It wasn't opportunity."