"Washington, D.C. is updating its traffic cameras to enforce
traffic laws. How about enforcing bribery and corruption
laws?" -Jay Leno
***
"The number of shark attacks around the world increased by
25 percent. With the economy like it is, more and more
sharks are turning to crime." -Jimmy Kimmel
***
"The whole world has Justin Bieber fever. It's what happens
whenever a pop frenzy becomes a disease. There was also
Beatle Mania, the Miley Cyrus Virus, and the Hasselhoff
Cough." -Craig Ferguson
*********************
Barbecue Forks
As the coals from our barbecue burned down, our hosts passed out
marshmallows and long roasting forks.
Just then, two fire trucks roared by, sirens blaring, lights
flashing. They stopped at a house right down the block.
All twelve of us raced out of the back yard, down the street, where
we found the owners of the blazing house standing by helplessly. They
glared at us with looks of disgust.
Suddenly, we realized why.....
We were all still holding our roasting forks with marshmallows on them.