"Laboratory Cells"
My mother works in a laboratory and is responsible for keeping tissue cultures alive. So that she won't forget, she writes "feed cells" on her calendar. One day she noticed that someone had scribbled in "take cells for a walk."
By the end of the month, a number of anonymous reminders had been added: "Take cells to Disneyland," "Cells on vacation," "Cells back" and, on Yom Kippur, "Jewish cells get the day off."
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
A girl was visiting her friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The friend responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"Helloooooooooooooo," answered the girl. "They're watch dogs!"
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
One Liner
"If Patrick Henry thought taxation was bad without representation... he should see it with!"
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
CleanQuote
"A procrastinator's work is never done."
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy 2
servings per night, and a few more on weekends, I consume about 3,500
calories of chocolate in a week, which equals one pound of weight per week.
Therefore, in the last 3-1/2 years, I have had chocolate caloric
intake of about 180 pounds, and I only weigh 165 pounds.
So ... without chocolate, I would have wasted away to nothing about 3
months ago! I owe my life to chocolate!