Weird News
Boy breaks silence, shocks parents
Jamie Jenkins, 5, of
"I'm over the moon. I give so much to Jamie and I try so hard all the time," his mother Emma Jenkins said. "He has been trying for a long time, but he has properly said a word now."
Jamie has been visiting
Jamie's mother said he now says the words "purple" and "mumma" frequently.
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Suspected robber had hungry pets
Police allege Takaharu Kawata, 28, admitted robbing a pair of stores in
The unemployed man was arrested on a second charge of robbery June 9 and is currently on trial for robbery charges, police say.
The Shimbun said the alleged animal mask thief owns two dogs, two snakes, five cats, five turtles and an aquarium of tropical fish.
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Swedish crimes relocate in summer
GOTHENBURG, Sweden (UPI) -- Midsummer Eve, or the European celebration of the summer solstice, takes violence out of Swedish streets and brings it into the home, police say.
Erik Jeppsson of the police department in
"Fighting doesn't start in the pubs, it occurs at home when parties get out of control. We have been called out to quite a few private homes," he said of midsummer violence.
Yet despite the relocation of such annual violence, police in the city of
"We have had a lot to do this evening. Around 20 people have been arrested for assault or drunken disorder. Four young men have been taken to hospital following assaults with knives or having been kicked,"
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Summer solstice celebrated at Stonehenge
STONEHENGE, England (UPI) -- About 30,000 people gathered at Stonehenge in the English countryside to celebrate the summer solstice despite heavy rains, officials said.
A spokeswoman for English Heritage said the weekend crowd was the biggest turnout in five years, the Daily Mail reported.
One of those gathered was Peter Rawcliffe, 26, who cycled to
"I've done this for the last three years, I suppose I'm a bit of a closet druid," he said.
The sun rose over the ancient stone circle at 4:58 a.m.
Kate Hawkins, who took her two children to the event, said they had a "lovely time" but the rain got to be too much.
"The thought of bed and a warm bath waiting at home was too tempting," she said.
Stonehenge, which was built in three phases between 3000 B.C. and 1600 B.C., is one of
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Fire Engine
As a drunk guy staggers out of the bar one Friday evening, a fire engine races past, siren wailing and lights flashing.
Immediately, the drunk starts chasing the engine, running as fast as he can until eventually he collapses, gasping for breath.
In a last act of desperation he shouts after the fire engine, "If that's the way you want it, you can keep your bloody ice creams!"
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Shaping Up for a Good Excuse
This Policeman pulled a car over and told the man driving that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone.
"I was only going 40!" the driver protested.
"Not according to my radar," the officer replied.
"Yes, I was!" the man shouted back.
"No you weren't!" the policeman said, starting to get annoyed. With that, the man's wife leaned toward the window and said,
"Officer, I should warn you not to argue with my husband when he's been drinking."
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The Older Golfer
"How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy.
"Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went."
"But you're seventy-five years old, Jack!" admonished his wife, "Why don't you take my brother Scott along?"
"But he's eighty-five and doesn't even play golf anymore," protested Jack.
"But he's got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball,"
The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung, and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Do you see it?" asked Jack.
"Yup," Scott answered.
"Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance.
"I forgot."
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Anyone for a Cigar
A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined!"
"It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer.
"Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?"
"No! The judge is a stickler on ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court."
Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant. As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, "Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It really worked!"
Confidently the lawyer responded, "I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them."
"But I did send them.", replied the man.
"What?" shouted the lawyer?
"I sure did, that's how we won the case... good thing I remembered to enclose the plaintiff's business card."
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"It takes time to raise about 25 children. I know, I have
two myself. That's plenty. Mine are twins, though. Both of
them. They're awfully cute. I can't think of their names.
They don't come when I call them anyway." --Victor Borge
***
After playing 18 holes of golf, our foursome was sitting
around the clubhouse settling our bets when another golfer
stormed in. Fuming after a lousy round, he slammed down
his scorecard and announced, "If I wasn't married, I'd give
this stupid game up!"
***
"Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody
can be both a winner and a loser at the same time."
-Demetri Martin
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"Teenager Daughter Owner's Manual"
Instructions for all those with teenage daughters or daughters
who think they are teenagers or who will eventually be teen-
agers.
Teenager Owner's Manual Congratulations! You are now the proud
new owner of a teenage daughter.
Please read this manual carefully, as it describes the main-
tenance of your new daughter, and answers important questions
about your warranty (which does NOT include the right to
return the product to the factory for a full refund.)
IF YOU FEEL, YOU HAVE RECEIVED YOUR TEENAGER IN ERROR:
To determine whether you were supposed to receive a teenager
girl, please examine your new daughter carefully. Does she:
(a) look very similar to your original daughter, only with
more makeup and less clothing?
(b) refuse to acknowledge your existence on the planet Earth
(except when requesting money)?
(c) Sleep in a burrow of dirty laundry?
If any of these are true, you have received the correct item.
Nice try, though.
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I was in a department store dressing room when I overheard a
woman in the next booth make disparaging remarks about the
clothes she was trying on. Finally, an attendant knocked on
her door and asked if there was a specific color or style she
could get for her.
"I need a dress for my class reunion," the woman answered.
"I don't care what color or style, as long as it makes me
look twenty pounds lighter and ten years younger."
From another dressing room I heard a woman call out, "Make
that two."
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Sound of Drums
A researcher arrives in
Around dusk of the first day, he's sitting by the campfire with his guide when in the distance, he hears tribal drums. They get louder. The guide announces, "I don't like the sound of those drums."
The dusk turns evening. The drums get louder. The guide says, "I really don't like the sound of those drums."
Evening turns to dead of night. The drums get louder and louder, until it is obvious that the drummers must be quite close. The guide says again, "I really don't like the sound of those drums."
Suddenly the drums stop, and a voice from the darkness cries out, "Hey man, he's not our regular drummer!"