"Taps System"
During an attack of laryngitis I lost my voice completely for two days. To help me communicate with him, my husband devised a system of taps.
One tap meant, "Give me a kiss," two taps meant "No," three taps meant "Yes," and 95 taps meant "Take out the garbage."
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CleanQuote
"More important than learning how to recall things is finding ways to forget things that are cluttering the mind."
- James Waddell Alexander, II
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"Testimony"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The priest is repairing the church fence. A boy is standing nearby for a long while.
The priest asks him: "Do you want to speak with me, my son?"
"No, I'm just waiting."
"Waiting for what?"
"Waiting to hear what a priest says when he hits his finger with a hammer."
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Broken Escalator
The escalator was broken and the only way out of the airport was up a
flight of stairs. I had a big suitcase and a sore knee. I began
dragging my bag and it was making a loud thud on every step when a
man behind me grabbed my bag and carried it to the top.
"That was so chivalrous," I gushed, thanking him.
"Chivalry had nothing to do with it," he said. "I've got a splitting headache."
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When my son was about eight, his older sister was on a trip with a school
club and would be calling for a ride home when the bus got back to the
school.
My son and I were watching TV and I told him that in case I were to doze
off, please be sure to answer the phone because his sister would be calling
for a ride home. Well I did doze off for a bit and when I awoke, I asked him
if the phone had rang. He said yes, it rang a few times but it was the phone
company. They want you to pay your phone bill.
I knew that I had already paid the bill, so I asked him what they said to
him and he told me that he didn't answer it, he looked at the caller ID and
knew it was them. Then he showed me the caller ID, it said "pay phone".
Needless to say, his sister didn't think it was so amusing when I told her
what had happened.
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Interesting News Reports
Dr. Benjamin Porter visited the school yesterday and lectured on
'Destructive Pests.' A large number were present.
The sewer expansion project is nearing completion but city officials are
holding their breath until it is officially finished.
The ladies of the county medical society auxiliary plan to publish a
cookbook. Part of the money will go to the Samaritan Hospital to purchase a
stomach pump."
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The real reason Grandparents and Grandkids get along with each other so well
is that they both have a common nemesis.