MEDICAL DAFFYNITIONS
~ Artery: The study of painting
~ Bacteria: The back door of the cafeteria
~ Barium: What doctors do when their patients die
~ Bowel: A letter like A, E, I, O or U
~ Caesarean Section: A neighborhood in Rome
~ CAT Scan: Searching for a kitty
~ Cauterize: To make eye contact with a girl
~ Coma: A punctuation mark
~ Enema: Someone who is not your friend
~ Fester: Quicker
~ Fibula: A small lie
~ Labor Pain: When you get hurt at work
~ Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates
~ Node: Was aware of
~ Outpatient: A patient who fainted
~ Pelvis: An Elvis impersonator
~ Recovery Room: A place to do upholstery
~ Secretion: Something you don't want anyone to know
~ Seizure: A Roman emperor
~ Tablet: A small table
~ Terminal: Where the planes land
~ Urine: Opposite of "you're out"
~ Varicose: Nearby
~ Vein: To be conceited
Sunday, July 04, 2004
I HOPE THIS STORY ISN'T TRUE
I HOPE THIS STORY ISN'T TRUE
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet
division for about a month when I had a customer with a problem I
just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other
colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only
true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. For instance, green is a
combination of cyan and yellow, but green printed fine. Every color
in the rainbow printed except for yellow.
I had the customer change ink cartridges. I had the customer delete
and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my co-workers
for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of
troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the
printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try
printing on a piece of white paper instead of this yellow
construction paper?"
THE COLON AND THE SEMICOLON
I have a friend who just bought a computer and was instructed to
load a program by typing "A:" and then the name of the program.
My friend told me it would not work because his keyboard was no
good. He said he couldn't type the "dot over dot thingie" and that
every time he tried to type the "dot over dot thingie" he got the
"dot over comma thingie" no matter how careful he was to press only
the very top of the key.
When I told him about the shift key he thought I was a genius.
WORDS TO LIVE BY
"Lead your life so you won't be ashamed
to sell the family parrot to the town gossip."
Will Rogers Jr.
LOOK OUT, HONEY!!
A man listening to the radio hears that a car is headed the wrong way
on a highway, forcing people off the road. He realizes his wife is on
that highway and quickly calls her on her cell phone.
"Honey, watch out because a car is going the wrong way and running
people off the road!"
She screams back, "It's not just one car! There are thousands of them!"
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet
division for about a month when I had a customer with a problem I
just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other
colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only
true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. For instance, green is a
combination of cyan and yellow, but green printed fine. Every color
in the rainbow printed except for yellow.
I had the customer change ink cartridges. I had the customer delete
and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my co-workers
for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of
troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the
printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try
printing on a piece of white paper instead of this yellow
construction paper?"
THE COLON AND THE SEMICOLON
I have a friend who just bought a computer and was instructed to
load a program by typing "A:" and then the name of the program.
My friend told me it would not work because his keyboard was no
good. He said he couldn't type the "dot over dot thingie" and that
every time he tried to type the "dot over dot thingie" he got the
"dot over comma thingie" no matter how careful he was to press only
the very top of the key.
When I told him about the shift key he thought I was a genius.
WORDS TO LIVE BY
"Lead your life so you won't be ashamed
to sell the family parrot to the town gossip."
Will Rogers Jr.
LOOK OUT, HONEY!!
A man listening to the radio hears that a car is headed the wrong way
on a highway, forcing people off the road. He realizes his wife is on
that highway and quickly calls her on her cell phone.
"Honey, watch out because a car is going the wrong way and running
people off the road!"
She screams back, "It's not just one car! There are thousands of them!"
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