It was the girlfriend's birthday this weekend so I took her
downtown to a place called Fogo de Chao.
It is best described as a Brazilian steak house. At least,
that's how they describe themselves. What it is, basically,
is a giant all-you-can-wrestle-down-your-throat barbecue
with linen tablecloths.
They offer a variety of about twelve different types of
meat, all of which are speared on giant skewers and flame
roasted. But they don't bother taking the meat off of the
spits in order to serve it. The dining room is stalked by
a half dozen servers at a time, each one carrying a three-
foot long skewer loaded with meat which they bring right
up to your table and carve off generous sized samples for
you.
How it works is, each diner is equipped with a cardboard
disc, exactly like a drink coaster, which you keep on the
table in front of you. One side is red and the other side
is green. Red means 'stop,' and when that side is flipped
up the severs ignore you. When you are ready for meat you
flip the coaster to green.
Green sends the servers into swarm mode. Somehow they see
it from across the room and sprint over to your table
waving a three-foot skewer full of meat like maniacs and
try to carve half of it off onto your plate. You have to
practically beat them off with bread rolls.
The worst part is waiting for the guy with the type of meat
you want to try. I was desperate to try the spicy pork
sausages and the bacon-wrapped filet mignon, but I kept
being accosted by servers with everything but those two
selections.
A guy came by with about six pounds of top sirloin who didn't
seem to want to take no for an answer. He kept asking me,
"Are you sure? Just a little sample? Is very gooood!"
So I told him I would take just a bite-sized sample, where
upon he carved off about 12 ounces onto my plate.
I was trying to save my appetite for the sausages and the
bacon-wrapped filet mignon, but now I felt obligated to eat
the sirloin. Since I still wanted the sausages and the filet
I left the card on green and had to fend off a succession of
determined servers.
I turned away the pork loin guy (but only on his second lap),
the bottom sirloin guy, parmesan-encrusted pork guy, the
bacon-wrapped chicken breast guy and the top sirloin guy
again, who seemed to take personal offense that I hadn't
eaten the gargantuan portion he originally gave me in four
bites.
It was worth the wait, however, because when I finally got
them, both the filet and the sausage were extraordinary.
My date, however, was overly cautious with her coaster,
leaving it on red most of the meal. I guess she didn't want
to seem greedy. So I snuck as much from the mountain of food
on my plate to hers as I could manage. I felt obligated to
force her to try at least a bite full of everything on the
menu.
I don't have the space to go into the ridiculously huge salad
bar or the delicious appetizers or the million dollar a glass
wine, but suffice it to say most everything was excellent.
If you ever find yourself in downtown Chicago with a huge
appetite and plenty of money to spend I can recommend it.
Laugh it up,
Joe