A bunch of cows and bulls are standing in a field. A huge gust of wind comes along and all the cows fall over, but the bulls just stand there, bracing themselves against the gale.
All the cows stand up and go back to their chewing.
Pretty soon, an even stronger wind blows through and all of the cows are knocked to the ground, but the bulls just munch on the grass.
Next, a bona fide tornado comes through and all the cows are knocked clean into the next pasture. The bulls just say, "Mooo..."
Finally, one of the cows walks up to one of the bulls and says, "Moo? Is that all you can say? How come the wind always knocks us right over and you just stand there?"
"Isn't it obvious?" the bull replies. "We bulls wobble, but we don't fall down."
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Summer of 1900
Summer of 1900
What a Difference a Century Makes. In the summer of 1900... The average life expectancy in the United States was 47. Only 14% of the homes in the United States had a bathtub. Only 8% of the homes had a telephone. A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost $11.
There were only 8,000 cars in the US and only 144 miles of paved roads. The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph. Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated than California. With a mere 1.4 million residents, California was only the 21st most populated state in the Union. The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower. The average wage in the US was 22 cents an hour. The average US worker made between $200 and $400 per year.
A competent accountant could expect to earn $2,000 per year, a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year. More than 95% of all births in the United States took place at home. 90% of all US physicians had no college education.
Instead, they attended medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press and by the government as "substandard." Sugar cost four cents a pound. Eggs were 14 cents a dozen. Coffee cost 15 cents a pound.
Most women only washed their hair once a month and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo. The five leading causes of death in the US were: 1. Pneumonia and influenza; 2. TB; 3. Diarrhea; 4. Heart disease; 5.
Stroke. The American flag had 45 stars. Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii and Alaska hadn't been admitted to the Union yet. The population of Las Vegas, Nevada was 30. The remote desert community was inhabited by only a handful of ranchers and their families. Plutonium, insulin, and antibiotics hadn't been discovered yet. Scotch tape, crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't been invented. There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day. One in 10 US adults couldn't read or write. Only 6% of all Americans had graduated from high school. Some medical authorities warned that professional seamstresses were apt to become sexually aroused by the steady rhythm, hour after hour, of the sewing machine's foot pedals.
They recommended slipping bromide, which was thought to diminish sexual desire, into the women's drinking water. Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at corner drugstores.
According to one pharmacist, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and the bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health." 18% of households in the United States had at least one full-time servant or domestic.
There were about 230 reported murders in the US annually.
What a Difference a Century Makes. In the summer of 1900... The average life expectancy in the United States was 47. Only 14% of the homes in the United States had a bathtub. Only 8% of the homes had a telephone. A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost $11.
There were only 8,000 cars in the US and only 144 miles of paved roads. The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph. Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated than California. With a mere 1.4 million residents, California was only the 21st most populated state in the Union. The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower. The average wage in the US was 22 cents an hour. The average US worker made between $200 and $400 per year.
A competent accountant could expect to earn $2,000 per year, a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year. More than 95% of all births in the United States took place at home. 90% of all US physicians had no college education.
Instead, they attended medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press and by the government as "substandard." Sugar cost four cents a pound. Eggs were 14 cents a dozen. Coffee cost 15 cents a pound.
Most women only washed their hair once a month and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo. The five leading causes of death in the US were: 1. Pneumonia and influenza; 2. TB; 3. Diarrhea; 4. Heart disease; 5.
Stroke. The American flag had 45 stars. Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii and Alaska hadn't been admitted to the Union yet. The population of Las Vegas, Nevada was 30. The remote desert community was inhabited by only a handful of ranchers and their families. Plutonium, insulin, and antibiotics hadn't been discovered yet. Scotch tape, crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't been invented. There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day. One in 10 US adults couldn't read or write. Only 6% of all Americans had graduated from high school. Some medical authorities warned that professional seamstresses were apt to become sexually aroused by the steady rhythm, hour after hour, of the sewing machine's foot pedals.
They recommended slipping bromide, which was thought to diminish sexual desire, into the women's drinking water. Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at corner drugstores.
According to one pharmacist, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and the bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health." 18% of households in the United States had at least one full-time servant or domestic.
There were about 230 reported murders in the US annually.
A good preacher-story
A good preacher-story
Several years ago a preacher moved to Houston, Texas.
Some weeks after he arrived, he had occasion to ride the bus from his home to the downtown area. When he sat down, he discovered that the driver had accidentally given him a quarter too much change.
As he considered what to do, he thought to himself, you better give the quarter back. It would be wrong to keep it. Then he thought, "Oh, forget it, it's only a quarter. Who would worry about this little amount?
Anyway the bus company already gets too much fare; they will never miss it. Accept it as a gift from God and keep quiet."
When his stop came, he paused momentarily at the door, then he handed the quarter to the driver and said, "Here, you are. You gave me too much change." The driver with a smile, replied, "Aren't you the new preacher in town? I have been thinking lately about going to worship somewhere. I just wanted to see what you would do if I gave you too much change."
When my friend stepped off the bus, he literally grabbed the nearest light pole, and held on, and said, "Heavenly Father, I almost sold your Son for a quarter."
Our lives are the only Bible some people will ever read.
Several years ago a preacher moved to Houston, Texas.
Some weeks after he arrived, he had occasion to ride the bus from his home to the downtown area. When he sat down, he discovered that the driver had accidentally given him a quarter too much change.
As he considered what to do, he thought to himself, you better give the quarter back. It would be wrong to keep it. Then he thought, "Oh, forget it, it's only a quarter. Who would worry about this little amount?
Anyway the bus company already gets too much fare; they will never miss it. Accept it as a gift from God and keep quiet."
When his stop came, he paused momentarily at the door, then he handed the quarter to the driver and said, "Here, you are. You gave me too much change." The driver with a smile, replied, "Aren't you the new preacher in town? I have been thinking lately about going to worship somewhere. I just wanted to see what you would do if I gave you too much change."
When my friend stepped off the bus, he literally grabbed the nearest light pole, and held on, and said, "Heavenly Father, I almost sold your Son for a quarter."
Our lives are the only Bible some people will ever read.
FIRST ACCOUNT
FIRST ACCOUNT
Her mother decided that 10-year-old Susie should get something practical for her birthday. "Suppose we open a savings account for you?" she suggested. Susie was delighted. "It's your account, darling," Susie's mother said as they entered at the bank, "so you fill out the application." Susie was doing fine until she came to the space for "Name of your former bank". With just a slight hesitation, she put down: "Piggy."
Her mother decided that 10-year-old Susie should get something practical for her birthday. "Suppose we open a savings account for you?" she suggested. Susie was delighted. "It's your account, darling," Susie's mother said as they entered at the bank, "so you fill out the application." Susie was doing fine until she came to the space for "Name of your former bank". With just a slight hesitation, she put down: "Piggy."
WIDER
WIDER
Four-year-old Scott was spending the afternoon on his grandfather's farm. He coaxed Grandpa into letting him ride on the tractor while plowing. After several hours of plowing, the hot sun brought them up to the house for a drink.
"What are you doing down in the field, Scott?"
Grandma asked.
Scott replied, "I don't know whether we're taking the dirt out, or putting it back, but we're making it wider."
Four-year-old Scott was spending the afternoon on his grandfather's farm. He coaxed Grandpa into letting him ride on the tractor while plowing. After several hours of plowing, the hot sun brought them up to the house for a drink.
"What are you doing down in the field, Scott?"
Grandma asked.
Scott replied, "I don't know whether we're taking the dirt out, or putting it back, but we're making it wider."
Pre-Flight
Pre-Flight
I think the pilot on my last trip was pretty new to his job. I base that on his pre-flight announcement, "We're going to be taking off in a few... Whoa, here we go!"
I think the pilot on my last trip was pretty new to his job. I base that on his pre-flight announcement, "We're going to be taking off in a few... Whoa, here we go!"
Working people
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a city cop writing out a parking ticket. I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a senior a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worntires. So I called him a piece of horse *)$#. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes.. the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't give a darn. My car was parked around the corner. I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired.
It's important at my age.
I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a city cop writing out a parking ticket. I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a senior a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worntires. So I called him a piece of horse *)$#. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes.. the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't give a darn. My car was parked around the corner. I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired.
It's important at my age.
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