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Rice Preference
The young woman really thought she'd been very patient, through a protracted period of dating with no talk of marriage.
One night her steady boyfriend took her to a Chinese restaurant. As he perused the menu, he casually asked her, "So . . . how do you like your rice? Boiled? Or fried?"
Without missing a beat, she looked over her menu at him and replied clearly, "Thrown."
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Here is today's CleanQuote.
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which everyone has plenty; not on your past misfortunes of which we all have some." - Charles Dickens
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Thanks to David Finlay for today's Illustration. - Sacrifice
A Christian farmers cow gave birth to twin bull calves. The farmer was delighted as bull calves are worth more than a cow calf and since he had two he decided to sell one to the work of the Lord when it was fully grown.
However one of the calves grew sick, then sicker and the farmer came in to the house one day looking sad. He looked at his wife and said. "You'll never guess what's just happened? The Lord's calf is dead!"
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Automated Phone Call
As an administrative assistant at a chiropractic office, I called an
insurance company to verify benefits for a patient. Although the call
was important, I couldn't reach a human being, only a recording.
"Thank you for calling," said the message. "Our office will be closed
until two o'clock as we enjoy our Customer Appreciation Week Celebration."
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Teacher Job Description
After being interviewed by the school administration,
the eager teaching prospect said: "Let me see if I've
got this right. You want me to go into that room with
all those kids, and fill their every waking moment
with a love for learning. And I'm supposed to instill
a sense of pride in their ethnicity, modify their
disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse
and even censor their t-shirt messages and dress
habits. You want me to wage a war on drugs and
sexually transmitted diseases, check their backpacks
for weapons of mass destruction, and raise their
self-esteem. You want me to teach them patriotism,
good citizenship, sportsmanship, fair play, how to
register to vote, how to balance a check-book, and how
to apply for a job. I am to check their heads for
lice, maintain a safe environment, recognize signs of anti-social behavior, offer advice, write letters of recommendation for student employment and scholarships, encourage respect for the cultural diversity of others, and oh, make sure that I give the girls in my class fifty percent of my attention. My contract requires me to work on my own time after school, evenings and weekends grading papers. Also, I must spend my summer vacation at my own expense working toward advance certification and a Masters degree. And on my own time you want me to attend committee and faculty meetings, PTA meetings, and participate in staff development training. I am to be a paragon of virtue, larger than life, such that my very presence will awe my students into being obedient and respectful of authority. You want me to incorporate technology into the learning experience, monitor web sites, and relate personally with each student. That includes deciding who might be potentially dangerous and/or liable to commit a crime in school. I am to make sure all students pass the mandatory state exams, even those who don't come to school regularly or complete any of their assignments.
Plus, I am to make sure that all of the students with
handicaps get an equal education regardless of the
extent of their mental or physical handicap. And I am
to communicate regularly with the parents by letter,
telephone, newsletter and report card.
All of this I am to do with just a piece of chalk, a
computer, a few books, a bulletin board, a big smile
AND on a starting salary that qualifies my family for
food stamps! You want me to do all of this and yet you
expect me...... NOT TO PRAY?"