"Last One Comeback"
A widow, recently married to a widower, was accosted by a friend who laughingly remarked, "I suppose, like all men who have been married before, your husband sometimes talks about his first wife?"
"Oh, not any more," the other woman replied.
"What stopped him?" asked the first.
"I started talking about my next husband," replied the second woman.
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CleanQuote
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."
- Galileo Galilei
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"Dating"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
As a single, never-married woman in my 40s, I have been questioned endlessly about my status by my friends, relatives, and co-workers. Over the years, I've noticed a subtle change in the nature of their inquiries. In my teens, friends would ask, "Who are you going out with this weekend?"
In my 20s, relatives would say, "Who are you dating?"
In my 30s, co-workers might inquire, "So, are you dating anyone yet ?"
Now people ask, "Where did you get that adorable purse?"
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While shopping in a supermarket in Washington, D.C., I heard over the PA
system:
"A wallet containing a large sum of money was found, but it contains no ID.
Will those laying claim to it please form a double line at the customer
service counter?"
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During the Vietnam war, a Lieutenant asked a Marine why he was falling back
during a really fierce battle. "Didn't you hear me say that we're
outnumbered 4 to 1 ?"
The Marine replied, "I got my four Sir."
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"After years of uneventfully ordering a side of bacon with breakfast, you
can image my surprise at the side of beef I ordered last night for
dinner." - Scott E. Frank