Todays hUMOR

"Police Report"

A motorist collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the police report were:

Q - What warning was given by you?
A - Horn.

Q - What warning was given by the other party?
A - Moo.

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CleanPun

Where are delinquent disk drives sent?
Boot camp!

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One Liner

“The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.”

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CleanQuote

To truly BELIEVE in God, one must first want to LEAVE his selfish desires behind and want to BE the person God wants to mold him into.

Then God can mold him to BE that person who can LEAVE the past behind.

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I'm Thirsty

A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes
later: "Da-ad..."

"What?"

"I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?"

"No, you had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad..."

"WHAT?"

"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water?"

"I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!"

Five minutes later: "Daaaa-aaaad..."

"WHAT!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of
water?"