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I love the outdoors, and because of my passion for hunting and fishing, my family eats a considerable amount of wild game.
I guess they eat so much, in fact, that one evening as I set a platter of broiled venison steaks on the dinner table, my ten-year-old daughter looked up and said,
"Boy, it sure would be nice in pizzas lived in the woods."
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The tiresome jury selection process continued, each side hotly contesting and dismissing potential jurors. Don O'Brian was called for his question session.
"Property holder?"
"Yes, I am, Your Honor."
"Married or single?"
"Married for twenty years, Your Honor."
"Formed or expressed an opinion?"
"Not in twenty years, Your Honor."
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IT WAS NEW YEAR'S DAY and the Rose Parade was just starting. To get the best view, we had splurged on reserved seats in the grandstand. Yet every time a float passed, the large man in front of us stood to take pictures. We could see nothing.
Drastic action was called for. I took a picture of the scene in front of us with my Polaroid. When the photo developed, I gave it to the man, who looked wordlessly at a shot of his rear end.
He remained seated for the rest of the parade.
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Warm Up WitWhen my friend was a pastor of a church in Philadelphia, he was busy one afternoon nailing up an errant vine. A nearby neighbor's son stood by watching for a while. Finally my friend asked, "Well my young friend, are you trying to get a hint or two about gardening?""No sir," said the boy, "I'm just waiting to hear what a minister says when he hammers his thumb."