Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said, "Elegant lady, I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young Prince that I am, and then my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."
That night, on a meal of lightly sauteed frogs legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought, "I don't think so!"
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Yard Sale
I was at a yard sale one day and saw a box marked "Electronic cat and
dog caller -- guaranteed to work." I looked inside and was amused to
see an electric can opener.
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"Thai This For a Change"
An elderly couple, Marty and Helen, along with some friends agreed to try a Thai Restaurant. While looking at the menu, Helen noticed her husband looking at the vegetarian section of the menu. "What would you like Marty?"
she asked.
"I'm looking at this Eggplant Spicy dish." He replied.
"Marty, you like meat and potatoes. You won't like that dish." Helen said.
"What do you know," answered Marty, "I'm getting it."
"Marty, I'm telling' you, you are a meat and potatoes kind of guy. You won't like it!" Helen exclaimed.
"I'm getting it and that is the last word!" says Marty.
A short while later the meals arrive at the table. Marty looks down and his dish and says to Helen, "Where are my eggs?"
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Clean Quote
"It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation." - Herman Melville (1819 - 1891), Writer
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"Prayer"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
A six year old said grace at family dinner one evening. "Dear God, thank You for the pancakes."
When he concluded, his mother asked him why he thanked God for pancakes when they were having chicken-pot-pie.
He smiled and said, "I thought I would check to see if He was paying attention."
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