"Signs of the Times"
In a Vet's Office:
"All unattended children given free kitten"
"All unattended children given free kitten"
Lot outside Vet's office in Silverton, OR:
"Parking for customers only; others will be neutered."
"Parking for customers only; others will be neutered."
In a Veterinarians waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
Billboard on the side of the road:
"Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."
"Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."
In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
"If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On Maternity Room Door:
"Push, Push, Push."
"Push, Push, Push."
On a fence:
"Salesmen welcome - dog food is expensive."
"Salesmen welcome - dog food is expensive."
Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary, we'll hear you coming."
"No appointment necessary, we'll hear you coming."
In the front yard of a funeral home:
"Drive carefully, we'll wait."
"Drive carefully, we'll wait."
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"Most auto accidents are caused by mechanical faults - the loose nut behind the steering wheel"
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One Liner
"I learned something important about burning leaves - wait until they fall off the trees."
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CleanQuote
"To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me."
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"Give Tech Support a Break"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
This technician's company uses satellite communications to send and receive messages from tugboats moving barges up and down major rivers. Each day, by 2 p. m., the tugboats send data on the day's activities to the company's traffic department.
At least that's how it's supposed to work.
"I got a call from our traffic department saying they only got data from about half the boats, and would I check on it?" technician says.
He calls the satellite company, but the technician there says there's no problem on his end.
Meanwhile, the traffic department calls again -- they're still not getting messages from the missing boats.
"So I called the boats and got them to re-send the messages, and they came through," says our tech. "The problem apparently cleared itself up."
But he isn't quite satisfied. "I called the satellite company back to see what happened, and what we could do if the problem recurred."
Satellite company's technician doesn't know what happened and doesn't have any way of finding out. "In order to track the messages, we would need an identification number from the message," he tells our tech.
"We could find out those numbers eventually," he figures.
"Also, the identification numbers are recycled every half hour," tech continues.
"So I need to get you the identification number within that time?" he asks.
"Right", says the satellite tech.
"So to summarize," says our tech glumly, "we need to give you the identification numbers of the messages we haven't received, within half an hour of not receiving them?"