"Homework Excuses"
Excuses to give your teacher when you don't do your homework.
- I didn't do my history homework because I don't believe in dwelling on the past.
- I didn't want the other kids in the class to look bad.
- A sudden gust of wind blew my homework out of my hand and I never saw it again.
- Another pupil fell in a lake and I jumped in to rescue him. Unfortunately, my homework drowned.
- Our furnace broke and we had to burn my homework to keep ourselves from freezing.
- I'm not at liberty to say why.
- I wanted to frame the detention letter you're about to give me.
- It was destroyed in a freak accident involving a hippo, a toaster, and a bag of frozen peas. You don't want to know the details.
- I have a solar-powered calculator, and it was cloudy.
- I made a paper plane out of it and it got hijacked.
- My mom used it as a dryer sheet.
- My agent won't allow me to publish my homework until the movie deal is finalized.
- It's against my religion to do any homework.
- I was abducted by green-skinned, three-eyed, pig-snouted space aliens, and they incinerated my homework with their death rays.
- I felt it wasn't challenging enough.
- My parents were sick and unable to do my homework last night. Don't worry, they have been suitably punished.
- We had homework?!
- I see your lips moving, but all I am hearing is "blah, blah, blah."
- I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload.
- I spent the night at a rally supporting higher pay for our hard-working teachers.
{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}CleanPun
A young man walked into our insurance office to purchase coverage for his new motorcycle.
Only one question confused him. "Do you have a lien holder on the vehicle?"
"I've got a kickstand," the prospect replied. "Is that the same thing?"
{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{} One Liner
"My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying." ~Ed Furgol
{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}
CleanQuote
"I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back." ~Zsa Zsa Gabor
{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{} "Coworker Support"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
One day at the veterinarian's office where I take my dog, a man and the receptionist were verbally sparring. After a few tense moments, a technician came to her co-worker's defense.
"Sir," she interjected, "are you aware of what happens to aggressive males in this office?"
{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{} Management vs. Solutions
After moving in to our new office space, I was given the job of
completing an Occupational Health and Safety report about the
building. I discovered that the building had been built with no fire exit!
If a fire starts at the entrance, the only way out would be to smash
through the manager's office window. So I put these comments down and
submitted my report to the manager before it got sent to head office.
In all seriousness he added the following comment to the head office
about smashing the window, "Please confirm that this is an acceptable
option by returning your approval."