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Walk the Path
Early one morning a young boy set off on a trip to see his grandmother who lived ten miles away. The road he walked was well worn from 200 years of travel.
A few miles into his journey he came to a point where the road took a wide detour up a steep hill. The young boy could see his destination only a short distance away, across a beautiful meadow with flowers and tall green grass.
The boy thought how stupid it was that so many people walked miles out of their way, up and down hills, rather than just cut across the meadow. He was too smart for that!
He set off at a run. "Oh, this is much better!" he thought_ right before he tripped and slammed to the ground. The beautiful ground cover was made up of sticky vines covered with thorns. They tore at his hands as he struggled to free his legs. An hour later, exhausted and bloodied, he sat on an old log to catch his breath.
Just as he started to relax, the first bee stung him.
Within moments, he had been stung a hundred times. He ran screaming, and escaped the angry swarm.
He came to a small pond with the most inviting blue water he had ever seen. It smelled lovely, too. He drank deep, only to convulse in pain as his body rejected the poisonous liquid.
Many hours later, he found himself slogging through waist deep mud. The flowing green grass that had looked so inviting on the other side of the meadow hid a swamp so putrid and foul that he longed for the smell of a fresh skunk to ease the pain in his nostrils.
As night fell, the boy finally emerged from the beautiful meadow and walked the short distance along the road to his grandmother_s house. She met him at the door looking quite worried.
When she saw his condition, she smiled and said, "Ah!
I see you took the shortcut."
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Thanks to Li Mo -- I am a senior citizen.
During the Clinton Administration I had an extremely good and well paying job.
I took numerous vacations and had several vacation homes.
Since President Bush took office, I have watched my entire life change for the worse.
I lost my job.
I lost my two sons in that terrible Iraqi War.
I lost my homes.
I lost my health insurance.
As a matter of fact I lost virtually everything and became homeless.
Adding insult to injury, when the authorities found me living like an animal, instead of helping me, they arrested me.
I will do anything that Senator Kerry wants to insure that a Democrat is back in the White House come next year.
Bush has to go.
Sincerely,
Saddam Hussein
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Thanks to Li Mo -- Why you're not allowed to play in the cockpit!!
FLIGHT DATA RECORDER (FDR) TRANSCRIPTS:
Cleaner #1: "Hey Bob I really don't think were supposed to be up here."
Cleaner #2: "Tony, you're such a worry wart. Anyhow, we're suppose to be up here remember, were cleaning this bird."
Cleaner #1: "Are you sure? I thought they told us to stay out of the cockpit"
Cleaner #2: ""Hey look at me I'm a pilot!!!...(Deep
Voice) Ladies and Gentlemen this is your captain speaking were at an altitude of 30,000 feet and Oh my God watch out for that mountain.........Ahhhhhhhh (laughter).
Cleaner #1: Hey man cut it out....Hey don't touch that it says "engine start" on it...
Cleaner #2: Don't worry....they always turn these things off while they're at the gate.
(Engine sounds in background....cleaners unaware)
Cleaner #2: Ready for takeoff......VRRRRRROOOOM VRRRRROOOOM (Throttles rapidly moved from idle to full and back to idle and full again) WEEEEEEEE!
Cleaner #1: OH no were moving!!!
Cleaner #2: WERE GOING TO HIT THE WALL RUN
(Cockpit door opens and slams shut. Occupants heard running to back of the airplane screaming and yelling)
30 seconds later...... Throttles pulled back to
idle.
(I Don't think those gentlemen have a job there
anymore!!!)
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*Sunday School Lesson #1*
A Sunday School teacher challenged her children to take some time on Sunday afternoon to write a letter to God. They were to bring their letter back the following Sunday.
One little boy wrote, "Dear God, We had a good time at church today. Wish you could have been there."
*Sunday School Lesson #2*
The same Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead.
She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama.
Then she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
Jenny, a thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd vomit!"