Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian
said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this
turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my
guilt?"
"Certainly not," said the Priest. "As penance, you must
return it to the one from whom you stole it."
"I tried," Brian sobbed, "but he refused. Oh, Father, what
should I do?"
"If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to
keep it for your family."
Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off.
When confession was over, the Priest returned to his
residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that
someone had stolen his turkey.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1975 vs 2005
1975: Long hair
2005: Longing for hair
1975: KEG
2005: EKG
1975: Acid rock
2005: Acid reflux
1975: Moving to California because it's cool
2005: Moving to Arizona because it's warm
1975: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2005: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
1975: Seeds and stems
2005: Roughage
1975: Hoping for a BMW
2005: Hoping for a BM
1975: Going to a hip new joint
2005: Getting a new hip joint
1975: Rolling Stones
2005: Kidney stones
1975: Down with the system
2005: Upgrade the system
1975: Disco
2005: Costco
1975: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2005: Children begging you to get their heads shaved
1975: Passing your driver's test
2005: Passing the vision test
1975: Whatever
2005: Depends
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Job Perks
A woman, searching for a job, inquired about the benefits. The
Personnel Manager informed her they had group health and life
insurance, but the costs were deducted from the employee's pay.
She said, "My last employer had full health coverage, as well as five
year's salary for life insurance and a month's sick leave AND they
paid the full premiums."
"I can't help but ask why you would leave a job with such benefits,"
the interviewer replied.
The woman shrugged her shoulders and said, "The company went bankrupt."