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Rev. Jones shocked the congregation when he announced his resignation from the church and planned move to Arizona...
After the service a very distraught Mrs. Williams came to the pastor with tears in her eyes, "Oh, Pastor Bill, we are going to miss you so much. We don't want you to leave!"
The kindhearted pastor patted her hand and said, "Now, now, Liz, don't carry on so... The pastor who takes my place might be even better than me."
"Yeah", she cried, "That's what Paster Mike said when he left!"
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Rev. Jones shocked the congregation when he announced his resignation from the church and planned move to Arizona...
After the service a very distraught Mrs. Williams came to the pastor with tears in her eyes, "Oh, Pastor Bill, we are going to miss you so much. We don't want you to leave!"
The kindhearted pastor patted her hand and said, "Now, now, Liz, don't carry on so... The pastor who takes my place might be even better than me."
"Yeah", she cried, "That's what Paster Mike said when he left!"
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The Baltimore Police Department, famous for its superior
K-9 unit, was somewhat taken aback by a recent incident.
Returning home from work, a woman had been shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on all channels, and a K-9 officer patrolling nearby was first on the scene.
As he approached the house with his dog on a leash, the woman ran out on the porch, clapped a hand to her head and moaned, "I come home from work to find all my possessions stolen, I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send a blind policeman!"
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A friend of mine decides to try horseback riding even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but then my friend begins to slip from the saddle.
In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and
throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the
stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her
head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered
against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when ...
the Wal-Mart manager runs over to shut off the horse.
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A lawyer's answer to the question: "How Many Lawyers Does It Take To Change a Light Bulb
Answer: Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the stricture of the following agreement: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as 'Lawyer,' and the party of the second part, also known as 'Lightbulb,' do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Lightbulb) shall be removed from the current position. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not limited to, the following steps:
(1) The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, step stool, ladder, or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Lightbulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Lightbulb) in a counter-clockwise direction, this point being nonnegotiable. (2) Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Lightbulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part (Receptacle),the party of the first part(Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Lightbulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal statutes.