Saturday, May 21, 2011

Today's hUMOR

"Project Picture"
My 12 year old daughter asked me, "Mom, do you have a baby picture of yourself? I need it for a school project." I gave her one without thinking to ask what the project was.
A few days later I was in her classroom for a parent-teacher meeting when I noticed my face pinned to a mural the students had created.
The title of their project was: "The oldest thing in my house."
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Taxidermist's Sign
Seen on a Taxidermist's sign: "We really know our stuff."
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One Liner
"Each year a healthy adult male consumes one and one-half times his weight in other peoples patience."
~John Updike
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CleanQuote
"Whatever God did and was able to do and willing to do at any time, God is able and willing to do again, within the framework of His will."
~ A. W. Tozer
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"Car Accident Honesty"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
A man was trying to pull out of a parking place but bashed the bumper of the parked car in front of him.
Witnessed by a handful of pedestrians waiting for a bus, the driver got out, inspected the damage, and proceeded to write a note to leave on the windshield of the car he had hit.
The note read:
"Hello. I have just hit your car, and there are some people here watching me who think that I am writing this note to leave you my name, phone number, and driver's license number, but I am not."