Once there were two mice who lived in a museum. One evening after the museum
had closed; the first mouse crawled into a huge suit of armor.
Before he knew it, he was lost.
"Help!" he shouted to his friend, "Help me make it though the knight!"
+++++++++++++++++++
Two not so bright country bumpkins were driving a semi down a road when they
came to a viaduct. The sign said 10 feet zero inches, so they got out to
measure their truck. Unfortunately, the truck was just over 12 feet high.
They didn't know what to do, when finally one of them looked both directions
and said, "I don't see any cops, let's go for it.!"
+++++++++++++++++++
A general practitioner treats what you have and a specialist thinks you have
what he treats.
+++++++++++++++++++
Real Estate AgentA real estate agent had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water."That customer's going to come back here pretty mad," he said to his boss. "Should I give him his money back?""Money back?" roared the boss. "What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat!"
+++++++++++++++++++
"Are You The Defendant?"
The judge read the charges, then asked, "Are you the defendant in this case?"
"No sir, your honor, sir," replied Bob, "I've got a lawyer to do the defendin'. I'm the guy who done it."
+++++++++++++++++++
CleanQuote
"Mediocrity thrives on standardization."
+++++++++++++++++++
An Irish ToastA guy raises his glass and toasts his blonde girlfriend. "May you be in Heaven a half-hour before the devil knows you're dead!""What's that mean?""That is an authentic Irish toast.""Oh. In that case, here's to bread, eggs and cinnamon.""Bread, eggs and cinnamon? What's that?""That's French toast."
+++++++++++++++++++
The phone rang. It was a salesman from a mortgage refinance
company. "Do you have a second mortgage on your home?"
"No," I replied.
"Would you like to consolidate all your debts?"
"I really don't have any," I said.
"How about freeing up cash for home improvements?" he tried.
"I don't need any. I just recently had some done and paid
cash," I parried.
There was a brief silence, and then he asked, "Are you
looking for a husband?"