Sunday, June 06, 2004

Wisdom

Wisdom

A sick man turned to his doctor, as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side."

Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."

"You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?"

The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side of which came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing....I know my Master is there and that is enough."

Southern Obituary Only In The South!

Southern Obituary Only In The South!

A woman from the deepest, most southern part of Kentucky goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is written. The obit editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word. She pauses, reflects and then says, "Well, then, let it read, 'Billy Bob died.'"

Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor says, "Sorry ma'am, there is a 7 word minimum on all obituaries."
Only a little flustered, she thinks things over and in a few seconds says...

"In that case, let it read, 'Billy Bob died - 1938 Pickup for sale.'"

Church Members

Church Members

A man had been on a deserted island for 25 years and one day he was rescued.

While climbing into the rescuers boat, a man asked him what those THREE straw huts were.

He said, "That one is my house, and that one is my church."

"Well... what is the other one?" he asked?

"Oh, that's where I used to go to church."

The Blonde Bet

The Blonde Bet

A redhead walks into a sports cafe around 9:58 PM. She sits down next to this blonde at the table and stares up at the TV. The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The redhead turns to the blonde and says, "You know, I bet he'll jump."

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

The redhead placed $20 dollars on the table and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the table, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $20 dollars to the redhead and said, "All is fair.
Here is your money."

The redhead replies, "Honey, I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

The blonde replies, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."