"Kids and Cliches"
I teach fourth grade in Ventura County, California. As a fun assignment, I gave the students the beginning of a list of famous sayings and asked them to provide original endings for each one. Here are some examples of what my students submitted.
- The grass is always greener when you leave the sprinkler on.
- A rolling stone plays the guitar.
- The grass is always greener when you remember to water it.
- A bird in the hand is a real mess.
- No news is no newspaper.
- It's better to light one candle than to waste electricity.
- It's always darkest just before I open my eyes.
- You have nothing to fear but homework.
- If you can't stand the heat, don't start the fireplace.
- If you can't stand the heat, go swimming.
- Never put off 'til tomorrow what you should have done yesterday.
- A penny saved is nothing in the real world.
- The squeaking wheel gets annoying.
- We have nothing to fear but our principal.
- To err is human. To eat a muskrat is not.
- I think, therefore I get a headache.
- Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry, and someone yells, "Shut up!"
- Better to light a candle than to light an explosive.
- It's always darkest before 9:30 p.m.
- Early to bed and early to rise is first in the bathroom.
- A journey of a thousand miles begins with a blister.
- There is nothing new under the bed.
- The grass is always greener when you put manure on it.
- Don't count your chickens -- it takes too long.
****************************Groaner: Emergency Kit
Josh was helping Sally, a blonde, clean out the trunk of her
car. Inside, he noticed a bag labeled "Emergency Repair
Kit." Looking at it a little closer, he noticed a stick of
dynamite inside.
Thinking that was a bit strange, he asked Sally what it was
for.
She said, "It's part of my emergency repair kit."
Josh said, "I can see that, but why?"
Sally replied, "In case I have a flat and need to blow up
one of my tires."
***************************
CleanPun
Cholesterophobia: The fear of frying.
****************************
One Liner
"I'm a pretty patient person - just as long as I'm not kept waiting for anything."
****************************
CleanQuote
"How strange that Nature does not knock, and yet does not intrude!"
~ Emily Dickinson
~ Emily Dickinson
****************************
"I Wish I Was a Bear"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could get used to that.
And another thing; before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. That wouldn't bother me either.
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business; you swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them, too.
Also, your husband expects you to growl when you wake up. He expects you to have hairy legs and excess body fat. He likes it.
I wish I were a bear.