Wednesday, February 14, 2007

hUMOR For Feb. 14th

An English teacher at Iowa State University spent a lot of time marking
grammatical errors in her students' written work. She wasn't sure how much
impact she was having until one overly busy day when she sat at her desk
rubbing her temples.

A student asked, "What's the matter, Mrs. Sheridan?"

"Tense," she replied, describing her emotional state.

After a slight pause the student tried again... "What was the matter? What
has been the matter? What might have been the matter..."

+++++++++++++++++++

David Bradley, inventor of the Control-Alt-Delete key sequence that reboots
PCs, is retiring from IBM.

At a 20-year celebration for the IBM PC, Bradley was on a panel with
Microsoft founder Bill Gates and other tech icons. The discussion turned to
the keys.

"I may have invented it, but Bill made it famous," Bradley said.

Gates didn't laugh.

+++++++++++++++++++

"Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation." -
Edward R. Murrow

+++++++++++++++++++

I used to have a real bad bedwetting problem ... but the
last couple of weeks I've gotten it under control.

I know we just met and this might seem a little sudden ...
but could I borrow five hundred dollars?

Go ahead and Super Size - I found spare change in the sofa
today.

Something tells me that you're very special ... but with
medication I can usually ignore it.

I don't see my ex-girlfriend that much ... thanks to the
U.S. Department of Justice.

Do you want to play doctor? That'll be five hundred dollars.

Wait till my wife hears about this!

I had a good time tonight. I'd love to see you again in six
to eight months with good behavior.

+++++++++++++++++++

Weight LossTwo women were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said, "Seems like all we do is fight anymore. I've been so upset that I've lost twenty pounds.""Why don't you just leave him?" asked the friend."Oh! Not yet," the first replied. "I'd like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first."