!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Only one person in 2 billion live to be 116 or older.
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every
two weeks or it will digest itself.
A giraffe has a tongue that is 14 inches long and
black in color.
The giraffe's heart is huge; it weighs twenty-five
pounds, is two feet long, and has walls up to three
inches thick
The shortest war on record, between Britain and
Zanzibar in 1896, lasted just 38 minutes.
WHAT WORD DESCRIBES THE STATE OF NOT BEING ABLE TO
REMEMBER THE WORD YOU WANT? Lethologica.
The longest throw of an object without any
velocity-aiding feature is 427.2 m (1,401.5 ft) by
David Schummy (Australia) with a boomerang on 15 March
2005 at Murrarie Recreation Ground, Queensland,
Australia.
The greatest number of dominoes set up single-handed
and toppled is 303,621 out of 303,628 by Ma Li Hua
(China) at Singapore Expo Hall, Singapore on August
18, 2003. The event was organised by LG Electronics
Inc.
WHAT MOVIE STAR WAS A GYM TEACHER IN SWITZERLAND
BEFORE GETTING HIS FIRST BIG BREAK? Sylvester
Stallone.
The favorite sweet of Netherlands' is salty liquorice,
referred to as "drop."
The Dalmation was named for the place where the breed
first originated, can you name it? Dalmation coast of
Croatia
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks to SUNSHINEROSE28 -- Consider This...
Let us extol our blessings - not exaggerate our
trials.
Keep your words pleasant and sweet- you may have to
eat them.
Tact is the ability to shut your mouth before some one
want to shut it for you.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From a friend: The Day After Christmas...
'Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the
house,
Every creature was hurting, even the mouse.
The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.
Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor,
While Upstairs the family continued to snore.
And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,
Went into the kitchen and started to clean.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a white little truck, with an eagle on rear.
The driver looked nice, with a smile on his pan;
The patch on his jacket said he was the POSTMAN.
With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox
Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.
Bill after bill, after bill, they still came.
Whistling and shouting he called them by name:
Now Sears, and now Broadway, now Kmart and Pennies,
Here's Walmart, and Target's -- they slid in with
ease.
To the tip of your limit, every store, every mall,
Now chargeaway-chargeaway-chargeaway all!
He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work.
He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk.
He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,
Driving much faster with just half a load.
Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,
ENJOY WHAT YOU GOT -- YOU'LL BE PAYING ALL YEAR!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks to M/M Riverrats -- Ten Reasons Adam Was The
Most Fortunate Man
1. He is the only man who has never been compared to
the man she could have married.
2. He had no in-laws to drop in.
3. There were no Jones for him to keep up with.
4. There were no credit cards OR shopping centers.
5. He never had his dinner interrupted by door-to-door
salesmen.
6. He got away with wearing a simple wardrobe.
7. He never had to shovel snow!
8. If he had gone bald, who would have known that
wasn't normal.
9. There was no "standard weight and height" tables -
and the word FAT meant good.
10. When God asked "Adam, where are you?" He replied,
"The woman you gave me was reading the map."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Learning Numbers
The teacher asked one of her young students if he knew his numbers.
"Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught me."
"Good. What comes after three."
"Four," answers the boy.
"What comes after six?"
"Seven."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes
after ten?"
"A jack," says the little boy.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Learning Numbers
The teacher asked one of her young students if he knew his numbers.
"Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught me."
"Good. What comes after three."
"Four," answers the boy.
"What comes after six?"
"Seven."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes
after ten?"
"A jack," says the little boy.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tech support: Click on the "my computer" icon on the left of
the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen, pal -- don't start getting technical on
me! I'm not Bill Gates!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.
Every time I try, it says, "Can't find printer." I've even
lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor,
but the computer still says he can't find it...
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the
supermarket.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged in to the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK.
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is
there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does
work.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
===============
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a
screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the
mouse, it disappears.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter "a" in the address, but
how do I get the circle around it?
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem
with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under Windows?
Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a
good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is
under a window, and his printer is working fine.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And last but not least:....
Tech support: Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape
keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the
middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up
the Program Manager.
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P" ... on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!