The restaurant where I took my two sons for a meal was
crowded with fans watching a sporting event on television.
The harried waitress took our order, but more than half an
hour passed with no sign of her return.
I was trying to keep my kids from becoming restless when
suddenly, shouts of victory came from the bar.
"Hey," commented my 11-year-old, "it sounds as if someone
just got his food."
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"Haircut Plan"
I was getting my hair cut at a neighborhood shop, and I asked the barber when would be the best time to bring in my two-year-old son.
Without hesitation, the barber answered, "When he's four."
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"Using Your Head"
"Knowledge is free, but you have to bring your own container."
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"Trying to Manipulate God "
A businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch an important deal went to church to pray for the money. By chance he knelt next to a man who was praying for $100 to pay an urgent debt.
The businessman took out his wallet and pressed $100 into the other man's hand. Overjoyed, the man got up and left the church.
The businessman then closed his eyes and prayed, "And now, Lord, that I have your undivided attention..."
Featured *Illustration* items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
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LESSONS ON LIFE
There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons
to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent
them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a
pear tree that was a great distance away.
The first son went in the winter, the second in the
spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in
the fall.
When they had all gone and come back, he called them
together to describe what they had seen.
The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and
twisted. The second son said no it was covered with
green buds and full of promise.
The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with
blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so
beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever
seen.
The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it
was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and
fulfillment.
The man then explained to his sons that they were all
right, because they had each seen but only one season
in the tree's life.
He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a
person, by only one season, and that the essence of
who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come
from that life can only be measured at the end, when
all the seasons are up.
If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the
promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer,
fulfillment of your fall.
Moral:
Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of
all the rest.
Don't judge life by one difficult season.
Persevere through the difficult patches and better
times are sure to come some time or later.
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Thanks to marti -- Wisdom From Senior Citizens:
1. I started with nothing. I still have most of it.
2. When did my wild oats turn to prunes and all bran?
3. I finally got my head together, now my body is
falling apart.
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
5. All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.
6. If all is not lost, where is it?
7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
8. If at first you do succeed, try not to look
astonished.
9. The first rule of holes: if you are in one, stop
digging.
10. I tried to get a life once, but they told me they
were out of stock.
11. I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway
through.
12. It was so different before everything changed.
13. Some days you're the dog, and some days you're the
hydrant.
14. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
15. I wish the buck stopped here! I could use a few.
16. Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents
in the back seat cause kids.
17. It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's
the sudden stop at the end.
18. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been
anywhere.
19. Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include
a trip around the sun.
20. The only time the world beats a path to your door
is if you're in the bathroom.
21. If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have
put them on my knees.
22. Never knock on death's door, ring the bell and
run. (he hates that.)
23. Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way
myself)
24. When you are finally holding all the cards, why
does everyone else decide to play chess?
25. If you're living on the edge, make sure you're
wearing your seatbelt.
26. There are two kinds of pedestrians. The quick &
the dead.
27. An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other
toys.
28. A closed mouth gathers no feet.
29. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at
which one can die.
30. It's not hard to meet expenses; they're
everywhere.
31. Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has
the better attorney.
32. The only difference between a rut and a grave is
the depth.
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Thanks to WS: Growing Older
A little more tired at the close of day,
A little less anxious to have our way,
A little less ready to scold and blame,
A little more care for a brother's name;
And so we are nearing the journey's end,
Where time and eternity meet and blend.
A little less care for bonds or gold,
A little more zeal for the days of old;
A broader view and a saner mind,
And a little more love for all mankind;
And so we are faring down the way
That leads to the gates of a better day.
A little more love for the friends of youth,
A little more zeal for established truth,
A little more charity in our views,
A little less thirst for the daily news;
And so we are folding our tents away
And passing in silence at close of day.
A little more leisure to sit and dream,
A little more real the things unseen,
A little nearer to those ahead,
With visions of those long loved and dead;
And so we are going where all must go
To the place the living may never know.
A little more laughter, a few more tears,
And we shall have told our increasing years.
The book is closed and the prayers are said,
And we are part of the countless dead;
Thrice happy, then, if some soul can say,
"I live because of their help on the way."
by R. G. Wells