Once we finally got all of our gear for the SCUBA dive squared away we ventured out to a place called Blue Spring State Park just outside of Deland and Deltona.
When I asked my nephew Eric why we were diving in a spring an hour's drive away versus the ocean which is a five minute drive away, he said there was a lot more to see in the spring, it's fresh water, there are all sorts of rock formations to play around in not to mention a 160 foot cavern the spring gushes out of, plus it's virtually impossible to get lost in, unlike the North Atlantic Ocean.
So I didn't argue.
What I didn't know is that the parking lot for this spring is about a half mile from the actual river. Pfft! A mere 2,600 feet. However, in the 89 degree heat of the parking lot we had to put on a full wet suit (including boots) plus the 65 pounds of equipment, and then walk to the river.
I'm not embarrassed to admit I was hating life after about five minutes of walking. The girlfriend immediately abandoned me, walking about 20 yards ahead, leaving me to plod along behind.
But it was worth a little misery. The water is a chilly 73 degrees, gushing out of an aquifer about a hundred feet below the surface, and 73 degrees feels wonderful when your core body temperature is about a hundred and four.
The spring itself is pretty small, maybe half a acre, but it is the depth that is the real attraction. At the bottom of the pond is a crevice that goes down about 160 feet. While we were sitting in only a few feet of water at the edge of the pond the dive instructor was giving us some important last minute instructions.
"Remember not to go below 40 feet or you'll die," he said helpfully. "And once your down there remember not to swim straight back to the surface or you'll get an embolism and you'll die.
"If for any reason your air stops flowing find your dive buddy and use his alternate regulator, because if you swim straight to the surface you'll die. And make sure you equalize the pressure in your ears while you're going down, because if you don't your ear drums will explode and you'll die. Oh...and try not to bump your air tank into any rocks or it might explode and you'll die. Okay, everybody ready to have some fun? Let's go!"
By this time I was pretty much in a state or mortal terror.
The girlfriend, who apparently hadn't listened to a word of the safety lecture, swam straight to the cave and disappeared into the depths while I sat in five feet of water and hyper-ventilated into my regulator.
After five minutes I saw the dive instructor's head pop up and he swam over to give me the 'A-okay' sign, asking if I was alright. He managed to coax me into about ten feet of water where I sat testing and re-testing my regulator and buoyancy compensator, waiting for some malfunction to make my head explode.
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Salesman Visit
One day a salesman stopped by the Jones farm, knocked, and Mrs. Jones
came to the door.
"Is your husband home, Ma'am?" he asked.
"Sure is. He's over to the cow barn."
"Well, I got something to show him, Ma'am. Will I have any difficulty
finding him?"
"Shouldn't have any problem ... He's the one with the beard and mustache."