At the Bank
I had just finished my dental appointment when I decided to stop at
my bank. Barely able to enunciate, I told the teller, "I'm sorry
about not speaking more clearly. I've had Novocaine."
"You should have used the drive-through," she said.
"Why?"
"Everyone who goes through sounds like you," she explained.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Drum Problem
There was once a small boy who banged a drum all day and
loved every moment of it. He would not be quiet, no matter
what anyone else said or did. Various attempts were made to
do something about the child.
One person told the boy that he would, if he continued to
make so much noise, perforate his eardrums. This reasoning
was too advanced for the child, who was neither a scientist
nor a scholar.
A second person told him that drum beating was a sacred
activity and should be carried out only on special
occasions. The third person offered the neighbors plugs for
their ears; a fourth gave the boy a book; a fifth gave the
neighbors books that described a method of controlling anger
through biofeedback; a sixth person gave the boy meditation
exercises to make him placid and docile. None of these
attempts worked.
Eventually, a wise person came along with an effective
motivation. He looked at the situation, handed the child a
hammer and chisel, and asked, "I wonder what's inside the
drum?"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Vet Appointment
In his younger days our golden retriever, Catcher, often ran away when he
had the chance. His veterinarian's office was about a mile down the road
and Catcher would usually go there. The office staff knew him and would
call me to come pick him up.
One day I called the vet to make an appointment for Catcher's yearly vaccine.
"Will you be bringing him in yourself," asked the receptionist, "or will he
come on his own?"