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Visiting List
A Catholic priest I once knew went to the hospital to visit patients. Stopping at the nurse's station, he carefully looked over the patient roster and jotted down the room number of everyone who had "Cath" written boldly next to his name. That, he told me, was a big mistake. When I asked why, he replied, "It was only after I had made the rounds that I learned they were all patients with catheters."
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CleanQuote.
"There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, that it ill behooves any of us to find fault with the rest of us." - James Truslow Adams
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Here is today's Illustration. - Remembrance
The staff at a business office was hosting a farewell luncheon for a retiring colleague. As the group prepared to go to the restaurant, they found that they couldn't fit the giant balloon they had purchased for the retiring 'guest of honor' into the car. Undaunted, they simply held the balloon out the window as they drove.
The office workers were not prepared for the glares they received from passers-by, however. As the long line of traffic in front of their vehicle began to turn, they saw that their car was right behind a long funeral procession.There was nothing they could do but hold on to the balloon with its large farewell message: "GONE, BUT NOT FORGOTTEN."
********************************YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2005 when... 1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries. 7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen. 8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. 10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee. 11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : ) 12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing. 13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message. 14. You are too busy to notice there was no ..9 on this list. 15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a ..9 on this list. AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.
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TO THE WONDERFUL WOMEN IN MY CIRCLE
When I was little, I used to believe in the concept of
one best friend, and then I started to become a woman.
And then I found out that if you allow your heart to
open up, God would show you the best in many friends.
One friend is needed when you're going through things
with your man.
Another friend is needed when you're going through
things with your mom.
Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt,
joke, or just be.
One friend will say let's pray together, another let's
cry together, another let's fight together, another
let's walk away together.
One friend will meet your spiritual need; another,
your shoe fetish; another, your love for movies;
another will be with you in your season of confusion;
another will be your clarifier; another, the wind
beneath your wings.
But whatever their assignment in your life, on
whatever the occasion, on whatever the day, or
wherever you need them to meet you with their gym
shoes on and hair pulled back, or to hold you back
from making a complete fool of yourself...those are
your best friends.
It may all be wrapped up in one woman, but for many
it's wrapped up in several...one from 7th grade, one
from high school, several from the college years, a
couple from old jobs, several from church, on some
days your mother, on some days your neighbor, on
others your sisters, and on some days your daughters.
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The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500 man elite fighting unit called the US REDNECK SPECIAL FORCES (USRSF).
These North Carolina, Kentucky, West Virginia, Mississippi, Virginia, Arkansas, Alabama, Georgia, Texas and Tennessee boys will be dropped into Iraq and have been given the following facts about Terrorists:
1. The season opened today. 2. There is no limit. 3. They taste just like chicken. 4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus. 5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.
This mess in Iraq should be over IN A WEEK...They will Git er Done!
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Changed Meaning
Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up
suspiciously at her husband.
"Henry," she said, "I've just received a letter from mother saying she
isn't accepting our invitation to come and stay, as we do not appear to
want her. What does she mean by that? I told you to write and say that she
was to come at her own convenience. You did write, didn't you?"
"Er, yes, I did," said the husband. "But I, I couldn't spell 'convenience,'
so I made it 'risk.'"