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After a hardy Indiana rainstorm filled all the potholes in
the streets and alleys, a young mother watched her two
little boys playing in the puddle through her kitchen
window. The older of the two, a five year old lad, grabbed
his sibling by the back of his head and shoved his face
into the water hole. As the boy recovered and stood
laughing and dripping, the mother runs to the yard in a
panic.
"Why on earth did you do that to your little brother?!" she says as she shook the older boy in anger.
"We were just playing 'church' mommy," he said. "I was baptizing him in the name of the Father, the Son and in the hole-he-goes.
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I attend a small village church in rural PA. On any given Sunday, we may have six or seven faithful little ones who come with their parents for the whole church service. Pastor has a white bag which gets passed from child to child, making sure they get equal turns to put something in for him to talk about. Each Sunday, Pastor calls all the little children up to him and he opens the bag to find a "surprise" on which he bases his children's sermon.
Last week, the bag went home with a little guy who spends many hours a week on church related activities. His parents and older brother are very active and so, in turn, is he. When Pastor opened the bag, there was a copy of Handel's Messiah which was very appropriate for Easter Sunday.
Pastor and the children had a lively discussion going on about the joy and happiness that music brings to the service. As he closed the little talk, Pastor said, " Yes, music is a wonderful part of our service. What would church be like if there was none?"
Without skipping a beat, the little boy who had brought the music said, "About a half an hour!"
Needless to say, everyone exploded into laughter which lasted for minutes. Finally, Pastor said, "There is no way I can top that so let's have a little prayer before you return to your seats."
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I attend a small village church in rural PA. On any given Sunday, we may have six or seven faithful little ones who come with their parents for the whole church service. Pastor has a white bag which gets passed from child to child, making sure they get equal turns to put something in for him to talk about. Each Sunday, Pastor calls all the little children up to him and he opens the bag to find a "surprise" on which he bases his children's sermon.
Last week, the bag went home with a little guy who spends many hours a week on church related activities. His parents and older brother are very active and so, in turn, is he. When Pastor opened the bag, there was a copy of Handel's Messiah which was very appropriate for Easter Sunday.
Pastor and the children had a lively discussion going on about the joy and happiness that music brings to the service. As he closed the little talk, Pastor said, " Yes, music is a wonderful part of our service. What would church be like if there was none?"
Without skipping a beat, the little boy who had brought the music said, "About a half an hour!"
Needless to say, everyone exploded into laughter which lasted for minutes. Finally, Pastor said, "There is no way I can top that so let's have a little prayer before you return to your seats."
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Captain's Log
The first mate on a ship decided to celebrate with a bit of stowed-away rum. He got so drunk that he was still a little drunk the next morning. Later in the day, when the first mate had sobered up, he looked in the ship's log. He read the Captain's entry for the day: "The first mate was drunk today."
"Captain, please don't leave that in the log," the mate said. "This could add months or years to my becoming a captain myself."
"Well, is it true?" asked the Captain, knowing full well it was.
"Yes, it's true," admitted the mate.
"If it's true, it has to stay in the log. That's the rule. If it's true, it goes in the log. End of discussion!" said the Captain sternly.
Weeks later, it was the first mate's turn to make the log entry. The first mate wrote: "The ship seems to be in good shape. The Captain was sober today."
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Don't Smoke
A couple of hours into a visit with my mother, she noticed I hadn't once
lit up a cigarette. "Are you trying to kick the habit?" she asked.
"No," I replied. "I have a cold, and I don't smoke when I'm not feeling well."
"You know," she observed, "you'd probably live longer if you were sick more
often."