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Olympic Nurse
The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street (pronounced Peek-A-Boo) is not just an athlete ... she is now a nurse currently working at the Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital. She is not permitted to answer the hospital telephones. It caused too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say, .
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(here it comes!)
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Picabo, ICU.
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Thanks to LBS: Hillary stamp
The US Postal Service created a stamp with a picture of Senator Hillary Clinton to honor her achievements as the First Lady of our nation. In daily use it was shown that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes.
This enraged Senator Clinton, who demanded a full investigation. After a month of testing, a special presidential commission made the following findings:
The stamp was in perfect order. There was nothing wrong with the applied adhesive. People were spitting on the wrong side.
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Thanks to J&G B --Stars Can Tell One Much...
Lone Ranger and Tonto
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.
After they got their tent all set up, they fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto awakens The Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabi, look towards sky, what you see?"
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars.
"What that tell you Kemo Sabi?" asks Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute, and eruditely says, "Tonto, my friend, astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Tonto?"
Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, "Kemo Sabi, you dummy. Someone has stolen our tent."
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After an hour of "Just a little more white, two squirts of blue, a dash of black, perhaps a tad more white," the paint store clerk got my gallon to the exact shade I wanted. With a sigh of relief, he pounded the lid on.
"Now what do I do if I need more paint?" I asked.
"Don't come back here," he begged.
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One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said quietly, "Good morning son."
"Good morning pastor," replied the young man not taking his eyes off the plaque. "Sir, what is this?" Johnny asked.
"Well son, these are all the people who have died in the service," replied the pastor. Soberly, they stood together staring up at the large plaque.
Little Johnny's voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly, "Which one sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30?"