It was announced today that Bertelsmann (BMG) will be purchasing the
Columbia House music club. While terms weren't announced, analysts believe
Bertelsmann will pay one penny, along with the promise to buy twelve
additional companies at a later date.
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I was getting ready for work when I looked out the window and saw the
utility company starting to erect a pole in front of my house.
They were going to position it directly in front of my picture window. No
way, absolutely no way, was I going to permit this. I gulped down my coffee
and went directly to the crew supervisor and told him, in no uncertain
terms, that I was not going to stand for his crew putting that stupid
electrical pole directly in front of my picture window.
He took out a plot map, a map for pole locations and a right of way
document. He went on to explain that the chosen location was the best spot
for the pole.
I told him it was not the best location for me and that when I came home
from work that day I certainly did not expect to see that pole in front of
my window.
He asked where I did want them to put it and I told him I didn't give a
hoot, as long as it was not in front of my window. I felt pretty smug as I
drove off to work because I felt I got my point across. I knew he was afraid
to put it there now.
Ah, the feeling of power; at least until I got home and found the pole in
the middle of my driveway.
+++++++++++++++++++
"The federal government has asked that people not return to New Orleans yet
because the city still is not safe. The government then went on to say the
same thing about Detroit, Cleveland and Newark." - Conan O'Brien
+++++++++++++++++++
Wedding Report
"How did the wedding go?" asked the preacher's wife.
"Just fine until I asked the bride if she would obey and she said,
'Do you think I'm nuts?' and the groom said, 'I do,' and then things
really began to happen fast."
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THE PHILOSOPHY OF TAXES
Tax his land, tax his pay,
Tax his bed where he lays.
Tax his tractor, tax his mule,
Teach him taxes are the rule.
Tax his cow, tax his goat,
Tax his pants, tax his coat.
Tax his ties, tax his shirt,
Tax his work, tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco, tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.
Tax his booze, tax his beers,
If he cries, tax his tears.
Tax his bills, tax his gas,
Tax his notes, tax his cash.
Tax him good and let him know
That after taxes, he has no dough.
If he hollers, tax him more,
Tax him until he's good and sore.
Tax his coffin, tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he lays.
Put these words upon his tomb,
"Taxes drove me to my doom!"
And when he's gone, we won't relax,
We'll still be after the inheritance TAX!!
COMMENTS: Not one of the below taxes existed 100 years ago when there was prosperity, absolutely no national debt, the largest middle class in the world and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
What happened?????
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL License Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax),
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax),
Liquor Tax,
Luxury Tax,
Marriage License Tax,
Medicare Tax,
Property Tax,
Real Estate Tax,
Service charge taxes,
Social Security Tax,
Road Usage Tax (Truckers),
Sales Taxes,
Recreational Vehicle Tax,
School Tax,
State Income Tax,
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA),
Telephone Federal Excise Tax,
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax,
Telephone Federal,
State and Local Surcharge Tax,
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax,
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax,
Telephone State and Local Tax,
Telephone Usage Charge Tax,
Utility Tax,
Vehicle License Registration Tax,
Vehicle Sales Tax,
Watercraft Registration Tax,
Well Permit Tax,
Workers Compensation Tax.