Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Today's hUMOR

I'm Smart

My dad gave me one dollar bill
'Cause I'm his smartest son,
And I swapped it for two shiny quarters
'Cause two is more than one!

And then I took the quarters
And traded them to Lou
For three dimes--I guess he didn't know
That three is more than two!

Just then, along came old blind Bates
And just 'cause he can't see
He gave me four nickels for my three dimes,
And four is more than three!

And I took the nickels to Hiram Coombs
Down at the seed-feed store,
And the fool gave me five pennies for them,
And five is more than four!

And I went and showed my dad,
And he got red in the cheeks
And closed his eyes and shook his head--
Too proud of me to speak!

Received from Timothy Anger.

************
Old Mason and his wife are throwing a theme party this
Saturday night. That must be a consequence of being married.
Themes, not parties. Back in the day we never had themes. We
had lots of beer. Frequently a barbecue or maybe a turkey in
the oven. And occasionally vomiting. But never a theme.

But, I'm not prejudiced.

So the theme is The 1980s. I told the girlfriend about it
and she became all excited about putting an 80s-style outfit
together; speculating on where she can buy leg-warmers and
how much it would cost to "crimp" her hair.

"Do you have any 80s style clothes?" she asked me.

"All of my clothes are 80s style," I told her. "My fashion
sense hasn't changed much in 25 years."