The Soup
WAITER: "Yes, sir, is there something wrong?"
CUSTOMER: "The soup. Taste it."
WAITER: "I beg your pardon, Sir?"
CUSTOMER: "Taste it."
WAITER: "But, Sir, I can assure you that the soup is excellent."
CUSTOMER: "Taste it."
WAITER: "Sir, the soup was made this morning of the finest ingredients."
CUSTOMER: "Taste it!"
WAITER: exasperated, "All right, Sir, I'll taste it."
Then after a pause he said, "Where is the spoon?"
To which the customer replied triumphantly, "Ah ha!!"
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"Front Decisions"
The Army assigned a group of eminent psychiatrists to determine the best way to select soldiers for duty on the various fighting fronts. After many tests, the learned professors made their report:
"The best way to find out whether a soldier would be more effective in the desert or in the north was to ask him, 'What kind of weather do you like -- hot or cold?'"
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CleanQuote
"To be content with little is hard; to be content with much is impossible."
-Marie Ebner
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"Curiosity"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
There was once a small boy who banged a drum all day and loved every moment of it. He would not be quiet, no matter what anyone else said or did. Various attempts were made to do something about the child.
One person told the boy that he would, if he continued to make so much noise, perforate his eardrums. This reasoning was too advanced for the child, who was neither a scientist nor a scholar.
A second person told him that drum beating was a sacred activity and should be carried out only on special occasions. The third person offered the neighbors plugs for their ears; a fourth gave the boy a book; a fifth gave the neighbors books that described a method of controlling anger through biofeedback; a sixth person gave the boy meditation exercises to make him placid and docile. None of these attempts worked.
Eventually, a wise person came along with an effective motivation. He looked at the situation, handed the child a hammer and chisel, and asked, "I wonder what is INSIDE the drum?"
No more problem.
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Martha Stewart's Financial Casserole
1. Boil a chicken until all the good stuff comes out.
2. Then, dump the stock.
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A new patient was being examined by a doctor. According to her husband, she
seemed to be suffering from amnesia.
The doctor asked, "Have you ever had this before?"
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It's not easy having Dyslexia. Last week I went to a toga party as a goat