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Down in the south, there are many churches known as "answer back" churches. When the preacher says something, the congregation naturally replies.
One Sunday, a preacher was speaking on what it would take
for the church to become better. He said "If this church is
to become better, it must take up it's bed, and walk." The congregation said "Let it walk, Preacher, let it walk."
Encouraged by their response, he went further. "If this
church is going to become better, it will have to throw
aside it's hindrances and run!" The congregation replied,
"Let it run, preacher, let it run!"
Now really into his message, he spoke stronger. "If this
church really wants to become great, it will have to take
up it's wings and fly!" "Let it fly, Preacher, let it fly!"
the congregation shouts.
The Preacher gets louder. "If this church is going to fly,
it will cost money!"
The congregation replied. "Let it walk, Preacher, let it
walk."
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At Andersen Air Force Base, Guam, a man in civilian clothes approached an airman and requested a vehicle pass. The young airman, fresh out of technical training, asked to see his military ID, driver's license and his vehicle registration. Noticing the letters BG on the man's identification, the new airman asked, "What's BG stand for -- Big Guy?"
"No," the man replied, leaning over the counter. "Try Brigadier General."
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Thanks to PW: The Cowboy and the church
One Sunday morning an old cowboy entered a church just
before services were to begin. Although the old man
and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he wore jeans,
a denim shirt and boots that were very worn and
ragged. In his hand he carried a worn out old hat
and an equally worn out bible. The church he entered
was in a very upscale and exclusive part of the city.
It was the largest and most beautiful church the old
cowboy had ever seen. The people of the congregation
were all dressed with expensive clothes and
accessories. As the cowboy took a seat, the others
moved away from him. No one greeted, spoke to, or
welcomed him. They were all appalled at his appearance
and did not attempt to hide it.
The preacher gave a long sermon about Hellfire and
brimstone and a stern lecture on how much money the
church needed to do God's work. As the old cowboy was
leaving the church, the preacher approached him and
asked the cowboy to do him a favor. "Before you come
back in here again, have a talk with God and ask him
what He thinks would be appropriate attire for
worship."
The old cowboy assured the preacher he would. The next
Sunday, he showed back up for the services wearing the
same ragged jeans, shirt, boots, and hat. Once again
he was completely shunned and ignored.
The preacher approached the man and said, "I thought I
asked you to speak to God before you came back to our
church."
"I did," replied the old cowboy.
"If you spoke to God, what did he tell you the proper
attire should be for worshiping in here?" asked the
preacher.
"Well, sir, God told me that He didn't have a clue
what I should wear. He says He's never been in this
church before."