The Blonde Kidnapper
A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a
child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy,
took him behind a tree and wrote a note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am
sorry to do this, but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag
behind the big oak tree in the park at 7AM." Signed, "The Blonde."
She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed.Inside the bag with the cash was the following note."Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do thisto another."
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55
Policeman: "When I saw you coming around the corner, I said to myself, `fifty-five at least.'" Woman driver: "Well, you are a long way off! It's this hat that makes me look so old!"
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Reasons Why The English Language Is Hard To Learn
- The bandage was wound around the wound. - The farm was used to produce produce. - The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. - We must polish the Polish furniture. - He could lead if he would get the lead out. - The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. - Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. - A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. - When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. - I did not object to the object.
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Same answer for each
This simple three question test illustrates how often politicians must be telling lies. 1. Is the Pope catholic? 2. Does Windows have bugs?3. Do Politicians lie?
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For The Kids...
What is the difference between an elephant and a flea?An elephant can have fleas but a flea can't have elephants! A boy with an elephant on his head went to see a doctor. The doctor said, "You know you really need help""Yes I do", said the elephant, "get this kid off my foot!" What happened to the elephant who ran away with the circus?The police made him bring it back! Why are elephants wiser than chickens?Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephant?! What do you call an elephant that can't do sums?Dumbo!
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Just a WarningAs he was driving home from work, a man in a rural community was stopped by a local police officer. The motorist, informed that he had failed to come to a full stop at a stop sign, was handed a ticket."Don't I get a warning?" he protested.The officer replied, "Sure. Here's your warning: If you don't come to a complete stop next time, I'll give you another ticket."