Sunday, December 19, 2004

hUMOR For December 19th

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Seals

Some people are extremely impressed when you tell them you're a Navy SEAL.

Case in point: My grandson's Kindergarten class on Career Day. I regaled them with stories of my exploits in the military. After I finished, hands shot up into the air all over the classroom. The kids were eager to ask questions.

One little girl asked, "Can you balance a ball on the end of your nose?"
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*Elf Pet Peeves*
7. Toil for 364 days a year just to make children smile and no one gives a rip. Meanwhile, frolic around one day in some stupid outfit in February with a lousy bow and arrow and all of a sudden you're a hero.
6. Company health plan doesn't cover tattoo removal.
5. The EPA's new relaxed reindeer-emissions standards.
4. Icy cold North Pole temperature makes it hard to produce quality workmanship.
3. Reindeer game #12: Elf lacrosse.
2. Constantly ridiculed for that 0-854 record in the North Pole basketball league.
1. Jolly Ole Santa has never yet brought back a single cookie to share.
********************************
*Elf Pet Peeves*
7. Toil for 364 days a year just to make children smile and no one gives a rip. Meanwhile, frolic around one day in some stupid outfit in February with a lousy bow and arrow and all of a sudden you're a hero.
6. Company health plan doesn't cover tattoo removal.
5. The EPA's new relaxed reindeer-emissions standards.
4. Icy cold North Pole temperature makes it hard to produce quality workmanship.
3. Reindeer game #12: Elf lacrosse.
2. Constantly ridiculed for that 0-854 record in the North Pole basketball league.
1. Jolly Ole Santa has never yet brought back a single cookie to share.

hUMOR For December 19th

********************************
Seals

Some people are extremely impressed when you tell them you're a Navy SEAL.

Case in point: My grandson's Kindergarten class on Career Day. I regaled them with stories of my exploits in the military. After I finished, hands shot up into the air all over the classroom. The kids were eager to ask questions.

One little girl asked, "Can you balance a ball on the end of your nose?"
********************************
*Elf Pet Peeves*
7. Toil for 364 days a year just to make children smile and no one gives a rip. Meanwhile, frolic around one day in some stupid outfit in February with a lousy bow and arrow and all of a sudden you're a hero.
6. Company health plan doesn't cover tattoo removal.
5. The EPA's new relaxed reindeer-emissions standards.
4. Icy cold North Pole temperature makes it hard to produce quality workmanship.
3. Reindeer game #12: Elf lacrosse.
2. Constantly ridiculed for that 0-854 record in the North Pole basketball league.
1. Jolly Ole Santa has never yet brought back a single cookie to share.
********************************
*Elf Pet Peeves*
7. Toil for 364 days a year just to make children smile and no one gives a rip. Meanwhile, frolic around one day in some stupid outfit in February with a lousy bow and arrow and all of a sudden you're a hero.
6. Company health plan doesn't cover tattoo removal.
5. The EPA's new relaxed reindeer-emissions standards.
4. Icy cold North Pole temperature makes it hard to produce quality workmanship.
3. Reindeer game #12: Elf lacrosse.
2. Constantly ridiculed for that 0-854 record in the North Pole basketball league.
1. Jolly Ole Santa has never yet brought back a single cookie to share.