Spelling Information"Hello, Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company.""Would you spell that, please?""Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you.""Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."
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A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date,but couldn't get her attention. When he was able to catchher eye, she quickly looked away. Finally he followed herinto the kitchen and blurted out his invitation. To hisamazement, she readily consented.He said, "Why have you been avoiding me all this time? Youwouldn't even make eye contact.""Oh," said the waitress, "I thought you wanted more coffee."
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You Know You're A School Teacher If...The following is dedicated to all the brave souls whoteach these "impossible" grades.You know you teach school if:You empty your pockets at night and find: 1. two used hall passes. 2. one unused bus pass. 3. a pencil stub. 4. no money (you spent your change in the facultyroom candy stash).You brag to your spouse about how many parent phonecalls you got done today.Your relatives refuse to attend one of your parties if"it's going to be mostly teachers" because they alltalk shop.You keep trying those techniques that were recommendedby experts during the latest pendulum swing.You walk the halls of your building and unconsciouslypick up litter.You are irritated by adults who chew gum in public.Your spouse surreptitiously reads the paper at dinnerwhile you describe your day.You plan your seating chart so that the short kidscan't hide behind bigger ones.You have see firsthand what gum wrappers and penniescan do to a floppy disk driveYou write your name conspicuously on all personalobjects, including your car keys, your masking tape,your textbook, and your chair.You sometimes choose to pretend not to hear commentsthat were perfectly intelligible to anyone who was inthe room.You know what your classroom door sounds like whenslammed mightily.You have classroom rules about where people may puttheir feet.You know what the ventilation fan in your room soundslike when whirling small objects, usually folded paperor wrappers.Your librarian cringes when you sign up your class.You tell subtle jokes in class just to see those fewsmiles of the ones that catch on.You despise Halloween candy, Christmas candy, andValentine candy.Your students prefer current events stories that dealwith rape, murder, electrocution, and demonicpossession.One of your students writes to Congress (on yournickel) to complain about some cigarette butts throwninto a local lake.You still can't believe you allowed yourself to besucked into an argument regarding whether BeanieBabies should be allowed in class.You know at least three ways to remove objectionabledoodles from textbooks so the next user will not beoffended.Your team goes out for dinner to celebrate the newsthat your biggest headache is moving to anotherdistrict.You clean desks yourself just to keep the placelooking nice and to help your own morale.A mother calls to chew you out because you haveignored her son's project only to learn from you thatit must be the one that has sat on the chalk rail forweeks with the words "Whose? Is this yours?" writtenabove it?