"Thoughts on Golfing"
A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can putt very well.
An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse.
Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps, and miss every green. The next day you'll go out and for no reason at all you'll really stink.
If your best shots are the practice swing and the "gimme putt," you might wish to reconsider this game.
Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.
Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't work, and both are expensive.
The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.
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"Eating Out"
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.
The waiter became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!"
The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders, and then exchanged sandwiches.
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Coupon Heaven While handing a 25 cent-off coupon to the supermarket clerk at the checkout counter a woman inadvertently missed her hand, and the coupon slipped beneath the scale and was gone.
The checker looked distressed so the woman said, "That's OK, it's in coupon heaven now."
“Coupon heaven?" the checker said.
"Yes," the woman said, "That's where coupons go when they die."
"Only the redeemed ones!" said the checker.
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One Liner
"The main problem with mental notes is the ink fades so fast."
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CleanQuote
“Aspire to inspire before you expire.”