Hole-In-OneA foursome teed off on the long par-3. The green on this hole lay behind a large bunker, so any shot that made the green would disappear over the top ridge of bunker and you couldn't tell where your ball landed until you arrived on the green.After the last player hit his shot, the first golfer to hit charged off down the fairway, without waiting for the others. He disappeared over the bunker and seconds later came running back down the fairway yelling and screaming, "I got a hole-in-one! I don't believe it!""You've got to be kidding," said the others. "You run ahead of us down the fairway and disappear behind that bunker, and now, all of a sudden, you claim you have a hole-in-one. How stupid do you think we three are?""No, no. It's true. I swear it," he said crossing his heart. "Go look. I left it in the hole to prove it."
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A Bit of Useful Information -- REFRIGERATOR STORAGE GUIDEBEEF:Steaks, Roasts..........................3 to 5 daysGround Beef, Stew Meat, Heart,Liver, Brains, Tongue ..................1 to 2 daysVEAL:Chops, Roasts ..........................3 to 5 daysLiver (sliced), heart..................................1 to 2 daysPORK:Canadian Bacon..........................2 weeksChops, Spareribs .......................3 to 5 daysRoasts .................................3 to 5 daysPork Sausage............................1 to 2 daysLAMB:Chops...................................3 to 5 daysRoasts .................................3 to 5 daysGround ................................24 hoursPOULTRY:Chicken, Ducklings......................1 to 2 daysTurkey (ready to stuff -thawed or fresh)........................1 to 2 daysCooked Poultry .........................1 to 2 daysFRUITS AND VEGETABLES:Vegetables, salad greens (in crisper) ..3 to 5 daysBerries (uncovered) ....................2 daysCitrus fruits, apples...................7 daysFruit juices ...........................4 daysRoot Vegetables (in crisper), carrots,beets, radishes, turnips ...............1 to 2 weeksCooked Vegetables, Fruits (covered).....2 to 4 daysFISH:Fresh fish, shellfish..................24 hoursCooked Fish ............................1 to 2 daysEGGS:Eggs (in carton, covered dish or rack) .4 weeksEggs, hard cooked (in shells) ..........8 to 10 daysEgg Whites (in covered container) ......2 to 4 daysEgg Yolks (covered with water) .........4 daysCURED AND SMOKED MEATS:Hams, picnic, whole ....................7 daysHalf ...................................3 to 5 daysSlices .................................3 daysDried Beef ............................10 to 12 daysCorned Beef, Tongue, Bacon..............5 to 7 daysCOOKED MEATS:Roasts, Stew, etc. .....................1 to 2 daysAssorted Luncheon Meats ................3 to 5 daysMILK AND MILK PRODUCTSMilk, cream.............................3 daysEvaporated Milk (in opened can).........3 to 5 daysButter, Margarine (covered or wrapped)..2 weeksCottage Cheese (in closed container) ...3 to 5 daysYogurt .................................7 daysWhipping Cream..........................7 daysCommercial Sour Cream..................14 daysCustards, custard sauces,cream filled pies and cakes ............2 to 3 daysSoft Cheese (in closed container) ......2 weeksHard Cheese.............................3 to 6 months
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Thanks to CJ in PA: Teen Poverty in America I just spent several hours observing teenagershanging out at our local mall. I came to theconclusion many teenagers in America today are livingin poverty. Most young men I observed didn't even own a belt;there was not one among the whole group. But thatwasn't the sad part. Many were wearing their daddy'sjeans. Some jeans were so big and baggy they hung low ontheir hips, exposing their underwear.I know some must have been ashamed that their daddywas short, because his jeans hardly went below theirknees.They weren't even their daddies' good jeans, for mosthad holes ripped in the knees and a dirty look tothem.It grieved me, in a modern, affluent society likeAmerica, there are people who can't afford a decentpair of jeans.I was thinking about asking my church to start a jeansdrive for "poor kids at the mall." Then on ChristmasEve, I could go Christmas caroling and distributejeans to these poor teenagers.But here is the saddest part..... it was the girlsthey were hanging out with that disturbed me most.I never, in all of my life, seen such poverty-strickengirls.These girls had the opposite problem of the guys.They all had to wear their little sisters clothes.Their jeans were about 5 sizes too small! I don't knowhow they could put them on, let alone button them up.Their jeans barely went over their hipbones. Most alsohad on their little sister's top; it hardly coveredtheir midsections.Oh, they were trying to hold their heads up withpride, but it was a sad sight to see these almostgrown women wearing children's clothes.However, it was their underwear that bothered me most.They, like the boys, because of the improper fittingof their clothes, had their underwear exposed.I never saw anything like it.It looked like their underwear was only held togetherby a single piece of string.I know it saddens your heart to receive this report onthe condition of our American teenagers. While I go tobed every night with a closet full of clothes, nearbythere are millions of "mall girls" who barely haveenough material to keep it together.I think their "poorness" is why these 2 groups gatherat the mall - boys with their short daddies' rippedjeans, and girls wearing their younger sisters'clothes. The mall is one place where they can findacceptance.So, next time you are at the mall, doing yourshopping, and you pass by some of these poorteenagers, would you say a prayer for them?And one more thing ... Will you pray the guys' pantswon't fall down, and girls' strings won't break?I thank you all, Grandmaw and Grandpaw.
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Thanks to SUNSHINERONE28: When God Created The South!Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God wasmissing for six days. Eventually, Michael thearchangel found him, resting on the seventh day. Heinquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudlypointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael,look what I've made."Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What isit?""It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE onit. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be agreat place of balance.""Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth,"For example, Northern Europe will be a place of greatopportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is goingto be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hotspot and the Antarctica in the South will be verycold. Over there I've placed a continent of whitepeople and over there is a continent of black people."God continued, pointing to different countries. "Thisone will be extremely hot and arid while this one willbe very cold and covered in ice."The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointedto a large area and asked, "What's that one?""Ah," said God. "That's the SOUTH, the most gloriousplace on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, lakes,rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. The peoplefrom there are going to be modest, intelligent andhumorous and they're going to be found traveling theworld. They'll be extremely sociable, hardworking andhigh-achieving, and they will be known throughout theworld as diplomats and carriers of peace. A trulygreat people."Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but thenproclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said therewill be BALANCE."God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the loudmouthobnoxious people I'm putting north of them."