A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you everdone anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked."Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "Once, on a tripto the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang ofhigh-testosterone bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen."So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker andsmacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, andthrew it on the ground. I yelled, "Now, back off!! Or you'll answer to me!"St. Peter was impressed: "When did this happen?""Just a couple minutes ago"
********************************
John was furious when his steak arrived too rare.
"Waiter," he shouted, "Didn't you hear me say 'well done'?"
"I can't thank you enough, sir," replied the waiter. "I hardly ever get a compliment."
********************************
Aboard the USS TARAWA for six months, my brother Don posted a picture of his beloved truck in his locker. Since his fellow Marines had pictures of their girlfriends posted, they often ridiculed him for his object of adoration.
"Laugh all you want," Don told them. "At least my truck will still be there when I get home."