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NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN ONLY
Note: Due to the complexity and level of difficulty,
each course will accept a maximum of eight
participants. The course covers two days, and topics
covered in this course include:
DAY ONE
HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS (Step by step guide with
slide presentation)
TOILET PAPER ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
(Roundtable discussion)
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR (Practicing
with hamper - Pictures and graphics)
DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN
SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES? (Debate among a
panel of experts)
LOSS OF VIRILITY (Losing the remote control to your
wife and children - Help line and support groups)
LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS (Starting with looking in
the right place instead of turning the house upside
down while screaming - Open forum)
DAY TWO
EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR
THE GARBAGE CAN? (Group discussion and role play)
HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO
YOUR HEALTH (PowerPoint presentation)
REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST (Real life
testimonial from the one man who did)
IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE
PARALLEL PARKS? (Driving simulation)
LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR
MOTHER AND YOUR WIFE (Online class and role playing)
HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION (Relaxation
exercises, meditation and breathing techniques)
REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE
GOING TO BE LATE (Bring your calendar or PDA to class)
GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG
ALL THE TIME (Individual counsellors available)
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From Magazine Supplement with UK Newspaper, The Mail on
Sunday
The Secret of Personal Growth -- Shoes with Lifts
Learn to be Assertive -- Take Charge of the TV Remote
Control
How to Speak in Public -- How to Say "There's a Queue/Line" Without Getting Punched
How to Win Friends -- The Advantages of Showering Daily
Discovering Your Inner Self -- Do It Yourself Microsurgery
Realisation Through Yoga -- Realising You Can't Get Your
Feet Behind Your Head
Boost Self-Confidence -- Stand Up to Door-to-Door Salesmen
Developing a Better Image -- Plastic Surgery
Achieving Self-Awareness -- Knowing Your Alcohol Limit
The Easy Way to Wealth -- Marry Someone Rich
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Shovel Need
One morning a local highway department crew reaches their job-site and realizes they have forgotten all their shovels. The crew's foreman radios the office and tells his supervisor the situation.
The supervisor radios back and says, "Don't worry, we'll send some shovels... just lean on each other until they arrive."
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Divorce and Bitterness
After a lengthy conference with the estranged husband, the lawyer reported to his client, "Jill, I have succeeded in making a settlement with your husband that is eminently fair to both of you."
"Fair to both!" exploded Jill. "I could have done that myself. Why do you think I hired a lawyer?"
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Here is today's CleanPun. - Mouse Review
Two mice live in a movie studio warehouse and are looking for food. Suddenly one hears the other chewing.
"What did you find?" he asks.
"I am not sure," comes the answer. "It looks like a piece of film celluloid from an old movie. Let me see. Ah, yes. It is from 'Gone with the Wind'."
"And how is it?"
"The book was better."
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Measure It
Our mom needed a new mattress for her antique bed, so my brother and I
decided to buy her one as a gift. The problem was we weren't sure what to
get, because the bed was an odd size. Fortunately, my brother happened to
be visiting my mother one day when I called home.
"Measure the bed frame before you leave," I told him.
"I don't have a tape measure."
"You can use a dollar bill," I suggested, "each one is six inches long."
"Can't," he replied after digging through his wallet, "I only have a ten."