Carol is the mother of four. Her "almost-perfect" husband's travel schedule
didn't include getting back by Sunday so she washed, dressed and drove the
children to church by herself. The organ cranked up one of her favorite
hymns, and she released her weariness in song.
After the hymn was finished, she sat down, feeling refreshed. Then she
noticed her oldest son's puzzled look. In a loud whisper he turned to Carol
and asked, "Hey, Mom, what's so great about Art?"
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A Preacher was doing his "Children's Church" sermon where all the youngsters
come down front and hear a story. The pastor was discussing the story of
Jonah. He quoted the scriptures from Jonah, "...and the Lord spoke to
the fish, and it vomited out Jonah upon the dry land."
When the Pastor finished the scripture quotation, he started trying to
solicit input from the youngsters to help him complete his mini-sermon. He
asked thoughtfully, "What does the fish vomiting Jonah out on dry land
indicate to us today.
One of the youngsters spoke with great enthusiasm for the entire
congregation to hear, "It proves, even a fish can't stomach a bad preacher!"
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Why is it that children aren't allowed to read the Bible in school, but are
encouraged to in prison?
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An Alaska Moose Story . . . . and a Good Start for Christmas! (Photos attached)
When this little guy was little; he lost his mother too soon. So theAlaska Department of Fish and Game brought him to Wendall and Debbie. Theyasked them to get the little moose raised to a safe age to turn him looseagain. They took care of him and bottle fed and after a while they fed him withtheir cows. So last spring he was a year old and it was time to turn him back into
the wild. They opened the gate and off he went. He stayed gone all summer; then
this fall he was back with the cows! He really thinks he is a cow! For now all were
happy to see him . . . he is a pretty friendly fella!
He loves honey buns and will eat them right out of your mouth! Wendall and
Debbie live up in the mountains and so it came time to bring their cows down.
Well . . the moose was lonely all by himself so he headed down to find another
herd of cows to hang with. The neighbors called about a week later and asked Wendall to please come
and get his Moose. Wendall headed out with a honey bun, bucket of grain and
the horse trailer and brought the moose back home. The moose is free to go anytime he wants but is choosing to stay put for
now. Surely, come spring he will start to feel a bit like a boy Moose and take off,
but, for now he seems happy!
Merry Christmas from Alaska
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As you know, it is very important for Santa and his reindeer
to be very quiet when they deliver presents on Christmas Eve
so no one will know they are there. One Christmas Eve as
Santa Claus landed on a rooftop, he suddenly heard a very
loud "Snort sniff honk honk snort!" coming from one of his
reindeer.
Since he was in the sleigh behind them, he didn't know which
one it was. It happened again, only louder this time: "Snort
sniff honk honk snort!"
Dogs in the neighborhood began to bark. "Shhh!" Santa
hissed. "Please be quiet!"
He went to work lifting the sack of toys out of the sleigh
when he heard it again, only a lot louder this time. "SNORT
SNIFF HONK HONK SNORT!" Lights came on all over the
neighborhood and some people even stuck their heads out of
their windows.
Santa was horrified. Jumping back into the sleigh, he drove
quickly back to the North Pole. He lined up all the reindeer
and announced, "We are not going to deliver another present
until the reindeer who is making funny noises with his nose
steps forward and apologizes!"
None of the reindeer stepped forward.
Santa held up a piece of paper. "I know who it is, and I
have written your name on this paper. But I want to give you
a chance to do the right thing on your own."
Still none of the reindeer came forward. So Santa did the
only thing he could do. Read off the rude-nosed reindeer...
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BLESSED ARE THE CRACKED,
FOR IT IS THEY WHO LET IN THE LIGHT
Let's see if I understand
how the world works lately...
If a man cuts his finger off while slicing salami at work,he blames the restaurant.
If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer, your family blames the tobacco company.
If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, he blames the bartender.
If your grandchildren are brats without manners,you blame television.
If your friend is shot by a deranged madman,you blame the gun manufacturer.
And if a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries to kill the pilot at 35,000 feet, and the passengers kill him instead, the mother of the crazed deceased blames the airline.
I must have lived too long to understand the world as it is anymore.
So, if I die while my old, wrinkled rear is parked in front of this computer, I want all of you to blame Bill Gates...Okay?