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Our three year-old Granddaughter, Audrey, had just been through an episode
of potty training by her Mom, who expressed concerns about her slow
progress.
Audrey, somewhat tired of the process, turned to her Mother and asked:
"Can't we forget the potty training and just be friends?"
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Here is today's CleanPun.
At the diner, my breakfast arrived with only three sausages instead of the usual four. The waitress explained that the cook had dropped one and was making another. Soon the cook dashed out of the kitchen.
"Here you are," he announced. "It's the missing link!"
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Here is today's CleanPun.
At the diner, my breakfast arrived with only three sausages instead of the usual four. The waitress explained that the cook had dropped one and was making another. Soon the cook dashed out of the kitchen.
"Here you are," he announced. "It's the missing link!"
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A ten-year-old girl asked and received help from a librarian on how to use the card catalog. In a little while, the girl approached the librarian again, wanting to know how to spell "tequila."
"T-e-q-u-i-l-a," spelled the librarian, as the girl thanked her and went back to her search. A short time later she came to the desk, looking quite distraught.
"I just can't find it," she said. "What book are you looking for, honey?" the librarian asked.
Replied the little girl, "Tequila Mockingbird."
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Ms Fix-It
My sister has the courage, but not always the skills, to tackle any home- repair project.
For example, in her garage are pieces of a lawnmower she once tried to fix. So I wasn't surprised the day my other sister, Dianne, and I found our sister attacking her vacuum cleaner with a screwdriver.
"I can't get this thing to cooperate," she explained when she saw us.
Dianne suggested, "Why don't you drag it out to the garage and show it the lawnmower?"
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Thanks to CT for a Good One...
Gladys Dunn was new in town and decided to visit the church nearest to her new apartment. She appreciated the pretty sanctuary and the music by the choir, but the sermon went on and on. Worse, it wasn't very interesting. Glancing around, she saw many in the congregation nodding off.
Finally it was over. After the service, she turned to a still sleepy-looking gentleman next to her, extended her hand and said, "I'm Gladys Dunn."
He replied, "You and me both!"
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Thanks to MAK: I'm On The Floor Again!!
I'm sure you know about the song,
Having to get on the road again,
And because my son drives semi,
I could make this about him.
However friends, I'm here to sing
A different version to that song,
It's called "I'm On the Floor Again",
And I don't think that's where I belong.
My goodness, the things I find,
When I'm sprawled out on the floor.
Why, there's that pill I dropped,
Oh no, someone's at the door!!
Oh, I stumble when I walk around,
You'd think I was drunk as can be,
But no, not a drop did I drink,
For I have Parkinson's, you see.
I have humor as my sidekick,
And a will as strong as steel,
The Lord right here to guide me,
So I'm the best that I can feel.
Don't you dare feel sorry for me,
I am blessed with loving friends,
They help me up when I am down,
Except--when I Am On The Floor Again!!!