How the "Left" Stole Christmas
Twas the month before Christmas
When all through our land,
Not a Christian was praying
Nor taking a stand.
See the PC Police had taken away,
The reason for Christmas - no one could say.
The children were told by their schools not to sing,
About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.
It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say
December 25th is just a "Holiday".
Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit Pushing
folks down to the floor just to get it!
CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod
Something was changing, something quite odd!
Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.
As Targets were hanging their trees upside down
At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.
At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears
You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.
Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty
Are words that were used to intimidate me.
Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen
On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton!
At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter
To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.
And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith
Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace.
The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded
The reason for the season, stopped before it started.
So as you celebrate "Winter Break" under your "Dream Tree"
Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.
Choose your words carefully, choose what you say
Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS, NOT Happy Holiday!
###############
Holiday Eating Tips
Try not to become an eggnog-aholic this Christmas…
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labour Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have SOME standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips & start over… but hurry, January is just around the corner.
###############
"Christmas Eve"
Christmas Eve ---
by Ruth Sockett
I have not wrapped a present and the paper's disappeared.
The children are hysterical, they just found Santa's beard -
The baby ate a Christmas ball, there's eggnog in my tea
Daddy's chasing mistletoe, he swings from tree to tree.
Susan's changed her mind about the doll that walks and talks -
Now she wants a simple thing, a real live horse that talks.
I just got back my Christmas cards that gave me writer's cramps
I didn't forget a single soul, I just forgot the stamps.
So, Santa, when you do get here and find beneath the tree,
A poor lost soul without a mind, be nice, for it is me!!
+++++++++++++++++++
A friend of ours waited until the last minute to send Christmas cards. She
knew she had 49 folks on her list. So she rushed into a store and bought a
package of 50 cards without really looking at them.
Still in a big hurry, she addressed the 49 and signed them without reading
the message inside.
On Christmas Day when things had quieted down somewhat, she happened to come
across the one leftover card and finally read the message she had sent to 49
of her friends.
Much to her dismay, it read like this:
"This card is just to say
A little gift is on the way."
Suddenly she realized that 49 of her friends were expecting a gift from her.
+++++++++++++++++++
A little boy returned from Sunday school with a new perspective on the
Christmas story. He had learned all about the Wise Men from the East who
brought gifts to the Baby Jesus. He was so excited he could hardly wait to
tell his parents.
As soon as he arrived home, he immediately began, "I learned all about the
very first Christmas in Sunday school today! There wasn't a Santa Claus way
back then, so these three skinny guys on camels had to deliver all the toys!
And Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with his nose so bright wasn't there yet,
so they had to have this big spotlight in the sky to find their way around!"
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Christmas is in my heart twelve months a year. It's also on my Visa
statement twelve months a year.
+++++++++++++++++++
Thanks to MAK: A Soldiers Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, he lived all alone
in a one bedroom house made of plaster and stone.
I had come down the chimney with presents to give
And to see whom in this home did live.
I looked all about. A strange sight I did see
No Tinsel. No presents. Not even a tree.
No stocking by the mantle just boots filled with sand.
On the wall hung pictures of far distant lands.
With medals and badges, awards of all kinds,
A sober thought came through my mind.
For this house was different. It was dark and dreary,
I found the home of a soldier, once I could see
clearly.
The soldier lay sleeping, silent, alone,
Curled up on the floor in this one bedroom home.
The face was gentle, the room in such disorder,
Not how I pictured a United States Soldier.
Was this the hero of whom I'd just read?
Curled up on a poncho, the floor for his bed?
I realized the families that I saw this night,
Owed their lives to these soldiers who were willing to
fight.
Soon round the world, the children would play,
And grown-ups would celebrate a bright Christmas Day.
They all enjoyed freedom each month of the year
Because of the soldiers, like the one lying here,
I couldn't help wonder how many lay alone,
On a Christmas Eve in a land so far from home.
The very thought brought a tear to my eye,
I dropped to my knees and started to cry.
The soldier awakened and I heard a rough voice,
"Santa don't cry. This life is my choice,
I fight for freedom, I don't ask for more.
My life is my God, my country, my regiment."
The soldier rolled over and drifted off to sleep,
I couldn't control it, I continued to weep.
I kept watch for hours, so silent and still
And we both shivered from the cold night's chill.
I didn't want to leave on that cold dark night.
This Guardian of Honor so willing to fight.
Then the soldier rolled over, with a voice soft and
pure,
Whispered, "Carry on Santa, It's Christmas day, all is
secure."
One look at my watch and I knew he was right.
"Merry Christmas my friend... and to all a good night
This poem was written by a Marine stationed in Okinawa
Japan. The following is his request. I think it is
reasonable...
PLEASE. Would you do me the kind of favor by sending
this to as many people as you can. Christmas will be
coming soon and some credit is due our U.S. service
men and woman our being able to celebrate these
festivities. Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny
bit of what we owe. Make people stop and think of our
heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed themselves for
us. Please do your small part to plant this seed.
Thank You -Frederick Kole A Vietnam Veteran
+++++++++++++++++++
Thanks to MAK: A Soldiers Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, he lived all alone
in a one bedroom house made of plaster and stone.
I had come down the chimney with presents to give
And to see whom in this home did live.
I looked all about. A strange sight I did see
No Tinsel. No presents. Not even a tree.
No stocking by the mantle just boots filled with sand.
On the wall hung pictures of far distant lands.
With medals and badges, awards of all kinds,
A sober thought came through my mind.
For this house was different. It was dark and dreary,
I found the home of a soldier, once I could see
clearly.
The soldier lay sleeping, silent, alone,
Curled up on the floor in this one bedroom home.
The face was gentle, the room in such disorder,
Not how I pictured a United States Soldier.
Was this the hero of whom I'd just read?
Curled up on a poncho, the floor for his bed?
I realized the families that I saw this night,
Owed their lives to these soldiers who were willing to
fight.
Soon round the world, the children would play,
And grown-ups would celebrate a bright Christmas Day.
They all enjoyed freedom each month of the year
Because of the soldiers, like the one lying here,
I couldn't help wonder how many lay alone,
On a Christmas Eve in a land so far from home.
The very thought brought a tear to my eye,
I dropped to my knees and started to cry.
The soldier awakened and I heard a rough voice,
"Santa don't cry. This life is my choice,
I fight for freedom, I don't ask for more.
My life is my God, my country, my regiment."
The soldier rolled over and drifted off to sleep,
I couldn't control it, I continued to weep.
I kept watch for hours, so silent and still
And we both shivered from the cold night's chill.
I didn't want to leave on that cold dark night.
This Guardian of Honor so willing to fight.
Then the soldier rolled over, with a voice soft and
pure,
Whispered, "Carry on Santa, It's Christmas day, all is
secure."
One look at my watch and I knew he was right.
"Merry Christmas my friend... and to all a good night
This poem was written by a Marine stationed in Okinawa
Japan. The following is his request. I think it is
reasonable...
PLEASE. Would you do me the kind of favor by sending
this to as many people as you can. Christmas will be
coming soon and some credit is due our U.S. service
men and woman our being able to celebrate these
festivities. Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny
bit of what we owe. Make people stop and think of our
heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed themselves for
us. Please do your small part to plant this seed.
Thank You -Frederick Kole A Vietnam Veteran
+++++++++++++++++++
Thanks to LBS: GIFT OF GIVING
The holiday season comes with lots and lots of rain
And just like the water, our money goes down the
drain.
But what would the season be, without the spirit of
living?
It would be like the world of the dead, without the
gift of giving.
For the ability to give is a gift, which came from
God, above;
HE gave his beloved son as a token of HIS undying
love.
And Jesus continued the gift by dying on Calvary
To save everyone who obeys him, every sinner just like
me.
Oh, that I may follow and imitate their blessed
example
That others may see in me a tiny bit of a sample
Of the greatness of God and HIS blessed son.
May others see and say, " In all, may HIS will be
done."
By L. B. Strawn
December 1, 1998