"Kind Word"
A man walked into a restaurant in a strange town. The waiter came and asked him for his order. Feeling lonely, he replied, "Meat loaf and a kind word."
When the waiter returned with the meat loaf, the man said, "Okay, so where's the kind word?"
The waiter put down the meat loaf and sighed, bent down, and whispered gently, "Don't eat the meat loaf."
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CleanQuote
"Have you ever had the experience of parking in a one-hour zone, inserting the coins, than finding yourself, forty-five minutes later, still in line at the bank? At such times, you might suddenly find religion, and fervently pray that you will make your meter."
- Victor Blume
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"Visitation"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Several women were visiting elderly Mrs. Diamond who was very ill.
After a while, they rose to leave and told her, "Esther, we will keep you in our prayers."
"Just wash the dishes in the kitchen," the ailing woman said, "I can do my own praying."
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As I pulled into the parking lot at the grocery store, I noticed a car with
its headlights on. I jotted down the make, color and license number.
Inside the store I joined the line at the information desk, and when it was
my turn, I told the clerk that there was a green Ford in the parking lot
that had its lights on and gave her the license number.
"Thank you," she replied, and went on to another customer.
The gentleman next to me asked her indignantly, "Aren't you going to
announce it?"
"There's no need," she replied sheepishly. "That's my car."
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A Dangling Participle Alert:
The burglar was about 30 years old, white, 5' 10", with wavy hair weighing
about 150 pounds.
The family lawyer will read the will tomorrow at the residence of Mr.
Hannon, who died June 19, to accommodate his relatives.
Mrs. Shirley Baxter, who went deer hunting with her husband, is very proud
that she was able to shoot a fine buck as well as her husband.
Organ donations from the living reached a record high last year,
outnumbering donors who are dead for the first time.
The dog was hungry and made the mistake of nipping a 2-year old that was
trying to force feed it in his ear.
We spent most of our time sitting on the back porch watching the cows
playing Scrabble and reading.
Hunting can also be dangerous, as in the case of pygmies hunting elephants
armed only with spears.
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Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?