!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Church Visit
My grandson, Justin, returned from his first time in church and was asked how it went.
He said, "The music was nice, but the commercial was too long."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here is a recipe from a free e-cookbook, downloaded tomy computer, called Copycat. The theme is cooking athome the foods you get at fast food places and etc.McDonald's Hamburgers1 pound ground chuck (80% lean)10 hamburger buns (local grocery type)10 hamburger dill slices (more or less to taste)10 teaspoons dried, chopped (not minced) onionsMustardKetchupSalt, Pepper, and MSGDivide 1 lb of beef into 10 equal sized balls. Form apatty out of each ball about 4 inches in diameter and1/4 inch thick. Do this on waxed paper. Now freeze thepatties for at least an hour (this keeps them fromfalling apart when grilled). Combine dried onions withwater in a small container. Add enough water so theonions can hydrate (You can't add too much, just besure to drain well before using).Preheat a griddle or skillet to medium−high. Inthe meantime, toast the hamburger buns until justgolden.Lay the frozen patties on the hot surface. After about20 seconds, "sear" them by applying even pressure withthe back of a metal spatula; do this only for about 2seconds. After searing them, sprinkle generously withsalt, pepper, and MSG to taste. After about one minutesince searing the patties, turn them over. Careful,don't tear the side you seared. Add about a teaspoonof your prepared onions on top. Quickly dress yourbuns. On the crown part of buns (top), Mustardfirst....five "kisses" the diameter of a pencil evenlyspaced in a circle about a half inch from the edge.Then the Ketchup, five squirts the size of a nickle..in the pattern found on dice. Place the pickle in themiddle. By the time you finish that, the meat will bedone (about 1 minute or 1:10 after turning). Removethe meat and tilt to the side to allow excess fat todrain off. Use your free hand to hold down the onions.Place patties onion side up on the dressed crown, topwith toasted heels (the burger will beupside−down). Flip upright and serve.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks to WS: PROCRASTINATIONI looked upon a farm one dayThat once I used to own;The barn had fallen to the groundThe fields were overgrown.The house in which my children grewWhere we had lived for years--I turned to see it broken downAnd brushed aside the tears.I looked upon my soul one dayTo find it too had grownWith thorns and nettles everywhereThe seeds neglect had sown.The years had passed while I had caredFor things of lesser worth:The things of heaven I let goWhen minding things of Earth.To Christ I turned with bitter tearsAnd cried, "O, Lord, forgive!I haven't much time left for TheeNot many years to live."The wasted years forever goneThe days I can't recall;If I could live those days againI'd make Him Lord of all.-- anonymous -- If you know who wrote these lines,please email me the name. Thanks. Tim
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks to Marti -- (I Love This One - ts) Mommy, LookAt This! As I was trying to pack for vacation, my 3-year-olddaughter was having a wonderful time playing on thebed. At one point, she said, "Mommy, look at this,"and stuck out two of her fingers.Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out andstuck her fingers in my mouth and said, "Mommy gonnaeat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before Irushed out of the room again.When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bedstaring at her fingers with a devastated look on herface.I said, "What's wrong honey?""Mommy, where's my booger?"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From GCFL: I've been teaching now for about fifteenyears. I have two kids myself, but the best birthstory I know is the one I saw in my own second-gradeclassroom a few years back.When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I alwayshave a few sessions with my students. It helps themget over shyness, and usually show-and-tell is prettytame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes,pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And Inever, ever place any boundaries or limitations onthem. If they want to lug it to school and talk aboutit, they're welcome.Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright,very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up tothe front of the class with a pillow stuffed under hersweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "Thisis Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell youabout his birthday."First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of theirlove, and then Dad put a seed in Mom's stomach, andLuke grew in there. He ate for nine months through anumbrella cord." She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, andI'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorderwith me. The kids are watching her in amazement."Then, about two Saturdays ago, my mom starts sayingand going, 'Oh, oh, oh!'" Erica puts a hand behind herback and groans. "She walked around the house for likean hour. 'Oh, oh, oh!'" Now the kid's doing thishysterical duck walk, holding her back and groaning."My dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies,but she doesn't have a sign on the car like theDomino's man."They got my mom to lie down in bed like this." ThenErica lies down with her back against the wall. "Andthen, pop! My mom had this bag of water she kept inthere in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up andspilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!" This kidhas her legs spread and with her little hands aremiming water flowing away. It was too much!"Then the middle wife starts saying, 'push, push' and'breathe, breathe.' They started counting, but nevereven got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes mybrother. He was covered in yucky stuff; they all saidwas from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot ofstuff inside there."Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow, andreturned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded theloudest. Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell day, Ibring my camcorder, just in case another Erica comesalong.
Monday, November 14, 2005
hUMOR For Nov. 14th
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Church Visit
My grandson, Justin, returned from his first time in church and was asked how it went.
He said, "The music was nice, but the commercial was too long."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here is a recipe from a free e-cookbook, downloaded tomy computer, called Copycat. The theme is cooking athome the foods you get at fast food places and etc.McDonald's Hamburgers1 pound ground chuck (80% lean)10 hamburger buns (local grocery type)10 hamburger dill slices (more or less to taste)10 teaspoons dried, chopped (not minced) onionsMustardKetchupSalt, Pepper, and MSGDivide 1 lb of beef into 10 equal sized balls. Form apatty out of each ball about 4 inches in diameter and1/4 inch thick. Do this on waxed paper. Now freeze thepatties for at least an hour (this keeps them fromfalling apart when grilled). Combine dried onions withwater in a small container. Add enough water so theonions can hydrate (You can't add too much, just besure to drain well before using).Preheat a griddle or skillet to medium−high. Inthe meantime, toast the hamburger buns until justgolden.Lay the frozen patties on the hot surface. After about20 seconds, "sear" them by applying even pressure withthe back of a metal spatula; do this only for about 2seconds. After searing them, sprinkle generously withsalt, pepper, and MSG to taste. After about one minutesince searing the patties, turn them over. Careful,don't tear the side you seared. Add about a teaspoonof your prepared onions on top. Quickly dress yourbuns. On the crown part of buns (top), Mustardfirst....five "kisses" the diameter of a pencil evenlyspaced in a circle about a half inch from the edge.Then the Ketchup, five squirts the size of a nickle..in the pattern found on dice. Place the pickle in themiddle. By the time you finish that, the meat will bedone (about 1 minute or 1:10 after turning). Removethe meat and tilt to the side to allow excess fat todrain off. Use your free hand to hold down the onions.Place patties onion side up on the dressed crown, topwith toasted heels (the burger will beupside−down). Flip upright and serve.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks to WS: PROCRASTINATIONI looked upon a farm one dayThat once I used to own;The barn had fallen to the groundThe fields were overgrown.The house in which my children grewWhere we had lived for years--I turned to see it broken downAnd brushed aside the tears.I looked upon my soul one dayTo find it too had grownWith thorns and nettles everywhereThe seeds neglect had sown.The years had passed while I had caredFor things of lesser worth:The things of heaven I let goWhen minding things of Earth.To Christ I turned with bitter tearsAnd cried, "O, Lord, forgive!I haven't much time left for TheeNot many years to live."The wasted years forever goneThe days I can't recall;If I could live those days againI'd make Him Lord of all.-- anonymous -- If you know who wrote these lines,please email me the name. Thanks. Tim
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks to Marti -- (I Love This One - ts) Mommy, LookAt This! As I was trying to pack for vacation, my 3-year-olddaughter was having a wonderful time playing on thebed. At one point, she said, "Mommy, look at this,"and stuck out two of her fingers.Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out andstuck her fingers in my mouth and said, "Mommy gonnaeat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before Irushed out of the room again.When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bedstaring at her fingers with a devastated look on herface.I said, "What's wrong honey?""Mommy, where's my booger?"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From GCFL: I've been teaching now for about fifteenyears. I have two kids myself, but the best birthstory I know is the one I saw in my own second-gradeclassroom a few years back.When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I alwayshave a few sessions with my students. It helps themget over shyness, and usually show-and-tell is prettytame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes,pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And Inever, ever place any boundaries or limitations onthem. If they want to lug it to school and talk aboutit, they're welcome.Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright,very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up tothe front of the class with a pillow stuffed under hersweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "Thisis Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell youabout his birthday."First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of theirlove, and then Dad put a seed in Mom's stomach, andLuke grew in there. He ate for nine months through anumbrella cord." She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, andI'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorderwith me. The kids are watching her in amazement."Then, about two Saturdays ago, my mom starts sayingand going, 'Oh, oh, oh!'" Erica puts a hand behind herback and groans. "She walked around the house for likean hour. 'Oh, oh, oh!'" Now the kid's doing thishysterical duck walk, holding her back and groaning."My dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies,but she doesn't have a sign on the car like theDomino's man."They got my mom to lie down in bed like this." ThenErica lies down with her back against the wall. "Andthen, pop! My mom had this bag of water she kept inthere in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up andspilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!" This kidhas her legs spread and with her little hands aremiming water flowing away. It was too much!"Then the middle wife starts saying, 'push, push' and'breathe, breathe.' They started counting, but nevereven got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes mybrother. He was covered in yucky stuff; they all saidwas from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot ofstuff inside there."Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow, andreturned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded theloudest. Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell day, Ibring my camcorder, just in case another Erica comesalong.
Church Visit
My grandson, Justin, returned from his first time in church and was asked how it went.
He said, "The music was nice, but the commercial was too long."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here is a recipe from a free e-cookbook, downloaded tomy computer, called Copycat. The theme is cooking athome the foods you get at fast food places and etc.McDonald's Hamburgers1 pound ground chuck (80% lean)10 hamburger buns (local grocery type)10 hamburger dill slices (more or less to taste)10 teaspoons dried, chopped (not minced) onionsMustardKetchupSalt, Pepper, and MSGDivide 1 lb of beef into 10 equal sized balls. Form apatty out of each ball about 4 inches in diameter and1/4 inch thick. Do this on waxed paper. Now freeze thepatties for at least an hour (this keeps them fromfalling apart when grilled). Combine dried onions withwater in a small container. Add enough water so theonions can hydrate (You can't add too much, just besure to drain well before using).Preheat a griddle or skillet to medium−high. Inthe meantime, toast the hamburger buns until justgolden.Lay the frozen patties on the hot surface. After about20 seconds, "sear" them by applying even pressure withthe back of a metal spatula; do this only for about 2seconds. After searing them, sprinkle generously withsalt, pepper, and MSG to taste. After about one minutesince searing the patties, turn them over. Careful,don't tear the side you seared. Add about a teaspoonof your prepared onions on top. Quickly dress yourbuns. On the crown part of buns (top), Mustardfirst....five "kisses" the diameter of a pencil evenlyspaced in a circle about a half inch from the edge.Then the Ketchup, five squirts the size of a nickle..in the pattern found on dice. Place the pickle in themiddle. By the time you finish that, the meat will bedone (about 1 minute or 1:10 after turning). Removethe meat and tilt to the side to allow excess fat todrain off. Use your free hand to hold down the onions.Place patties onion side up on the dressed crown, topwith toasted heels (the burger will beupside−down). Flip upright and serve.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks to WS: PROCRASTINATIONI looked upon a farm one dayThat once I used to own;The barn had fallen to the groundThe fields were overgrown.The house in which my children grewWhere we had lived for years--I turned to see it broken downAnd brushed aside the tears.I looked upon my soul one dayTo find it too had grownWith thorns and nettles everywhereThe seeds neglect had sown.The years had passed while I had caredFor things of lesser worth:The things of heaven I let goWhen minding things of Earth.To Christ I turned with bitter tearsAnd cried, "O, Lord, forgive!I haven't much time left for TheeNot many years to live."The wasted years forever goneThe days I can't recall;If I could live those days againI'd make Him Lord of all.-- anonymous -- If you know who wrote these lines,please email me the name. Thanks. Tim
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks to Marti -- (I Love This One - ts) Mommy, LookAt This! As I was trying to pack for vacation, my 3-year-olddaughter was having a wonderful time playing on thebed. At one point, she said, "Mommy, look at this,"and stuck out two of her fingers.Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out andstuck her fingers in my mouth and said, "Mommy gonnaeat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before Irushed out of the room again.When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bedstaring at her fingers with a devastated look on herface.I said, "What's wrong honey?""Mommy, where's my booger?"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From GCFL: I've been teaching now for about fifteenyears. I have two kids myself, but the best birthstory I know is the one I saw in my own second-gradeclassroom a few years back.When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I alwayshave a few sessions with my students. It helps themget over shyness, and usually show-and-tell is prettytame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes,pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And Inever, ever place any boundaries or limitations onthem. If they want to lug it to school and talk aboutit, they're welcome.Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright,very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up tothe front of the class with a pillow stuffed under hersweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "Thisis Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell youabout his birthday."First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of theirlove, and then Dad put a seed in Mom's stomach, andLuke grew in there. He ate for nine months through anumbrella cord." She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, andI'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorderwith me. The kids are watching her in amazement."Then, about two Saturdays ago, my mom starts sayingand going, 'Oh, oh, oh!'" Erica puts a hand behind herback and groans. "She walked around the house for likean hour. 'Oh, oh, oh!'" Now the kid's doing thishysterical duck walk, holding her back and groaning."My dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies,but she doesn't have a sign on the car like theDomino's man."They got my mom to lie down in bed like this." ThenErica lies down with her back against the wall. "Andthen, pop! My mom had this bag of water she kept inthere in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up andspilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!" This kidhas her legs spread and with her little hands aremiming water flowing away. It was too much!"Then the middle wife starts saying, 'push, push' and'breathe, breathe.' They started counting, but nevereven got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes mybrother. He was covered in yucky stuff; they all saidwas from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot ofstuff inside there."Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow, andreturned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded theloudest. Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell day, Ibring my camcorder, just in case another Erica comesalong.
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