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Dear Diary,Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with thoseexpensive double-pane energy-efficient kind.But this week I got a call from the contractor who installedthem, complaining that his work had been completed a wholeyear ago, and I had yet to pay for them.Boy oh boy, did we go around!! Just because I'm blondedoesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.I proceeded to tell him just what his fast talking sales guyhad told me last year: namely, that in one year the windowswould pay for themselves.There was silence on the other end of the line, so I justhung up... and I have not heard back.Guess I won that stupid argument!
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Skim MilkTo help a friend lose weight, I told her that sheshould switch to lower-fat foods, including skim milk.When she said her family would drink only whole milk,I suggested that she keep their regular container andrefill it with skim milk. This worked for quite awhile, until her daughter asked one morning whetherthe milk was okay."Sure, it's fine," my friend answered, fearing she hadbeen found out. "Why do you ask?"The daughter explained, "Well, according to theexpiration date, this milk expired two years ago!"
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How Smart Is YourRight Foot?This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. Andyou will keep trying it to see if you can outsmartyour foot. But you can't!!!1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right footoff the floor and make clockwise circles with it.2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in theair with your right hand. Your foot will changedirection!!!I told you so... And there is nothing you can do aboutit.