"Home Early"
Little Dewey burst through the front door with a smile on his face. Surprised, his mother asked, "Why are you home from school so early?"
Dewey said, "They let me go early because I was the only one who could answer a tough question."
"Oh, really? What was the question?" his mother asked.
"'Who threw the eraser at the teacher?'"
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Rat Presentation
Rodents had overrun a posh private school near New York City. So the headmaster asked a health inspector to deliver a slide presentation to teachers and students, showing how to remedy the situation, i.e., stow trash, no food in class, etc.
The following day, a teacher had her very young children write a letter to the inspector, thanking him for the visit. One of the students wrote:
Dear Mr. Ark,
Thank you for coming to my school. Until I met you, I didn't know what a rat looked like." Sincerely, Bobby Jones
Thank you for coming to my school. Until I met you, I didn't know what a rat looked like." Sincerely, Bobby Jones
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"At my age, I can't see the forest OR the trees."
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My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.
~ Ashleigh Brilliant
~ Ashleigh Brilliant
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"Proof of Identity"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
My friend Bev and her husband were reshingling their roof. As soon as they started, they realized they needed more supplies, so Bev grabbed the checkbook, jumped into her car, and drove the 45 miles to the nearest lumberyard.
After gathering the items she needed, Bev went up to the cashier and wrote a check. "I really need to see a photo ID," the clerk said.
"I don't have one on me," Bev replied.
The cashier called over the manager, who examined the check. Then the manager looked up and asked Bev, "Who is the Avon lady in your town?"
Puzzled, Bev responded, "Maxine Thompson."
"Take her check," the smiling manager said to the cashier. "Maxine is my grandmother."
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"If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them." -Isaac Asimov
"...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." -Sherlock Holmes (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle)
"Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none." -Benjamin Franklin