Sunday, December 03, 2006

hUMOR For Dec. 3rd

Church Signs We Have Seen

"Don't ever give up! Remember, Moses was once a basket case."
"Prevent truth decay. Brush up on your Bible."
"The best vitamin for a Christian is B1."
"Under same management for over 2000 years."
"Soul food served here."
"Tithe if you love Jesus! Anyone can honk!"
"Beat the Christmas rush, come to church this Sunday!"
"Don't wait for the hearse to take you to church."
"Life has many choices, Eternity has two. What's yours?"
"Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due."
"Wal-Mart isn't the only saving place!"
"Preach the gospel at all times. Use words if necessary."
"It's hard to stumble when you're down on your knees."
"What part of 'THOU SHALT NOT' don't you understand?"
"A clear conscience makes a soft pillow."
"The wages of sin is death. Repent before payday."
"Never give the devil a ride. He will always want to drive."
"Can't sleep? Try counting your blessings."
"Forbidden fruit creates many jams."
"Christians, keep the faith...but not from others!"
"Satan subtracts and divides. God adds and multiplies."
"If you don't want to reap the fruits of sin stay out of the devil's
orchard."
"To belittle is to be little."
"Don't let the littleness in others bring out the littleness in you."
"God answers kneemail."
+++++++++++++++++++
Little Johnny, a six-year-old, came home from school whining, "Mommy, I've
got a stomachache."

"That's because your stomach is empty," his mother replied. "You'd feel
better if you had something in it." She gave little Johnny a snack and sure
enough, little Johnny felt better right away.

That afternoon the family's minister dropped by. While he was chatting with
little Johnny's mom, he mentioned he'd had a bad headache all day long.
Little Johnny perked up. "That's because it's empty," he said. "You'd feel
better if you had something in it."
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There's room for all God's creatures right next to the mashed potatoes.